Friday funny: another Jesus sighting (but with a twist)

October 3, 2014

A twist of Japanese roll cake:

Usually, Jesus limits his food-based appearances to grilled cheese and Cheetos in certain—shall we say—conservative areas of North America, but it seems like he is making inroads to Asian pastries with an appearance in a dessert offered by Japan’s popular Komeda Coffee chain. And not just that, he decided to present as a famous recent incarnation: the monkey-faced botched restoration of Ecce Homo!

For those who need the reminder, an elderly woman tried to touch up a classic fresco of Jesus with amusing results.

Ms. Giménez said she had worked on the fresco using a 10-year-old picture of it, but she eventually left Jesus with a half-beard and, some say, a monkeylike appearance.

And it will live on as a meme for as long as the internet can remember.


Okay, so it isn’t always Jesus in the trees

November 18, 2011

Sometimes it’s Bert, from Sesame Street.


Jealous of pizza tray jesus, other family claims he’s really in a tree

March 11, 2011

I make that up. Oh, not the pizza tray part, or the tree part. Just the jealous part. I doubt they announced their “discovery” just because the bar guy is getting lots of attention right now. (Even I wound up writing about him.) I think they just wanted some attention, too, and the media is enabling them.

So anyway, this tree in McLean, Virginia. The Nortons had a limb removed from a tree in their yard weeks ago and as the wound dried, it created a pattern reminiscent of a faded Victorian portrait.

“I noticed the hair and then the beard and then it came together,” said Bella Norton, 12 Years Old.

“I think that is Jesus,” said Lamya Norton, mom.

Because everyone knows images of hair and beards can only be images of Jesus. Like no one else in history ever had hair and a beard…

I think they’ve been sitting on this “news” until they could spring it on a receptive audience, and what better time than Lent, eh?

She said her husband noticed it first weeks ago. She didn’t want to believe it, but on Ash Wednesday, she looked out her dining room window and saw it clear as day.

“It was a little emotional for me,” Lamya said.

Lamya’s mother, Marion Alany, used to own the house before selling it to her daughter. Alany said the tree has always been there, and now she believes Jesus has too.

“I had breast cancer,” said Alany. “But everything is fine and I’m doing well… There are bigger things in life, and just to go with the flow.”

Leading the overly gullible to think maybe Tree Jesus cured her cancer? Don’t think that won’t occur to some of them. Lamya certainly seems willing to make that bizarre connection:

Lamya is now sharing her discovery with her six children.

“It’s a sign that we’re all safe and it’s, everybody is loved in our family,” said Bella.

It’s a sign that people will see what they want to see. Nothing more.

It’s no Jesus in the clouds, but…

February 14, 2011

A 56 year old man dying of liver cancer claims he snapped a shot of God in the sky over his home in Picton, New Zealand recently. Terry Bowen describes the feeling:

Mr Bowen, who is suffering from terminal liver cancer, said when he saw the image in the cloud he felt a sense of hope – not just for himself but for other people.

“I always see these things drawing me out of the house, and they’re there to pick me up,” he said.

“I feel as if someone or something is looking over me and that there’s a reason why I’m still here. When I look at things like this it adds to my positive outlook.

“On Facebook a lot of people I’ve spoken to who are in a similar position to me say pictures like this really help them.” Picton Uniting Church pastor Geraldine Clarkson described the picture as “uplifting and inspirational”.

I just wonder what part of God he thought he caught on camera. Does he think it’s a guy in a dress with an arm pointing down (which I can see if I squint a bit) or something else?

This is why people still perform Rorschach tests, yes? A picture might be worth a thousand words but most of those words will be used to describe you…

Yet another believing is seeing moment

October 31, 2008

Why does the media report these things? A while back I mentioned a woman who claimed she’d found shells on the beach looking like Jesus and Mary.

This time around, it’s a lump of what might be bone or shell that some claim looks like the Virgin Mary. They’ve put a picture up showing a sculpture’s impression of what Mary might have looked like in robes beside the lump that bears zero resemblance to figure in the sculpture. Zero.

Benedict is not very religious, so he hopes to pass the shell along to someone who is, for the right price of course. “I think I’m going to sell it. I think I’m going to have to, just to see how many people want it and I feel like some people would care about it more than I probably would.”

He’s already put listed it on eBay. The bidding opens at $24.99.

Oh, to live in a world where people don’t get Madonna Fever.

If I’d seen that thing wash up, I would have thought it looked like a fish with a bulbous nose, or maybe a polar bear’s head. Like so:

Mystery shape

Mystery shape

Yes, definitely a polar bear with the harsh arctic wind ruffling his neck fur. Actually it’s like the bunnyduck. Do you see a fish or a polar bear? Can you look at both at the same time? Do you get a headache trying?

People see what they want to see – Jesus in the clouds, for example

October 29, 2008

“Unbelievable!” says the voice in the video. Yes, it certainly is unbelievable that anyone would stare at a cloud and start filming because he thought he saw Jesus.

But, some good news that they aren’t all dummies “down under” —

Eagle Vale Anglican Church minister, the Reverend Craig Hooper, told our sister paper the Macarthur Chronicle he was keeping an open mind about the cloud.

“There’s nothing to say that it couldn’t have been the face of Jesus in the cloud but we don’t really know what he looked like because there were no photos when he walked the earth 2000 years ago,” he said.

Attaboy. We don’t. Just because that’s the image this guy wants to see when he looks at that pattern of clouds, that doesn’t make it the real thing, if ever there was a real thing.

The article also mentions,

Interest in Raby’s holy cloud follows similar incidents like the toasted cheese sandwich which sold on eBay for US$28,000 in 2004.

A Florida woman believed she saw the face of the Virgin Mary burned into the sandwich and claimed it had not developed mould in the 10 years – leading up to the online auction which attracted more than 1.7 million hits.

Bread won’t mold unless it’s damp. The toasting process evaporates all the moisture. If you box it up for display for ten years where it’s going to remain dry, of course you won’t get any mold on it. Stupid woman. I wonder how much the casino that purchased it managed to raise for charity afterward. How much would it have sold for if she’d claimed it looked like Bette Davis? I think it looks like Bette Davis.

Ganesh, the new god of gardening?

October 24, 2008

I love the stories of people seeing things in things so it’s a nice switch to have a story not based on Catholic delusions. This time it’s a Hindu man’s fervent belief that Ganesh has healed him, thanks to the god’s appearance as an amaranth plant:

Lal believes the flower’s position – growing through concrete, facing a garage he converted to a prayer space – is evidence of a connection to Ganesh, revered as the Remover of Obstacles.

A manager at a Manhattan uniform company, Lal hurt his back lifting a box and was in pain for 3-1/2 months – but no more.

“I felt that healing power that came with it,” he said. “I’ve lived a religious life all my life. I feel my prayers have been answered through the deities.”

Friends and neighbors have already streamed to his 90th Ave. home to see the flower, and Lal said he’d welcome pilgrimages by Hindu faithful.

He knows some people will be skeptical and insisted he did nothing to sculpt the flower.

Heimerle said that wouldn’t be possible anyway, because the plant is too fragile.

“Nature is a strange thing, and it’s possible it may have just done that spontaneously, but who’s to say,” Heimerle said.

Who’s to say, indeed.

(H/T to Friendly Atheist for the story)