Category Archives: Not news at all

Things that shouldn’t be legitimate news

Past life on Mars? This young Russians say so..

And “experts are baffled” so it must be true! Boriska Kipriyanovich, who is now 21, says he lived on Mars before a war broke out and all life on the planet was destroyed. He claims he was reborn on Earth. … Continue reading

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Not even pareidolia eggplant

This one fell to the bottom of my drafts folder but any time is a good time for mocking journalism and the willingness to make a story out of anything. I wouldn’t buy this tale for a nickel. Slicing into … Continue reading

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Banana Jesus

Anytime a shape resembling a face turns up on anything, people are going to say it’s Jesus. I’m sure I’m not the only one who thinks this is pretty unoriginal. Says the author of the piece I’ve linked to: If … Continue reading

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Dear Robert Pattinson, you won’t put fans’ heads on stakes now will you?

“News” (in quotes because it’s questionable) has come out that the “star” (same quotes for the same reason) of the Twilight films may be a distant relative of Vlad the Impaler. Bing over at Happy Jihad’s House of Pancakes called … Continue reading

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Demons in a pear can? Appearantly so…

Sorry, couldn’t resist that one. Anywhoo, the story: Southland woman Wendy McMahon reckons she will never look at canned pears the same way. The latest can she opened contained a demonic face carved into one of its contents. However, Mrs … Continue reading

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Nobody wants to pay to see Jesus watching you pee…

An eBay seller’s down in the dumps these days because his special bathroom door with the image of Christ on it failed to interest any buyers. “There has to be a good light on the door to fully appreciate the … Continue reading

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Could car wax do the Jesus trick?

When Jesus isn’t stamping eggs, he’s startling drivers by appearing in their car windows in Tennessee to make sure they aren’t picking their noses or drive-dialing. Jonesborough resident Jim Stevens admits he’s not a particularly religious person, but even he … Continue reading

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For the record, I have no idea who Kanye West is, but…

I’ve just gotten a supreme kick out of reports of his ego. Apparently he’s a rapper of some renown (if renown can be redefined as celebrity gossip about retarded things people do) who’s said that his greatest pain in life … Continue reading

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How to lose a finger playing volleyball

Wear a ring to your game, get it caught in the net and yank too hard, that’s how. If you don’t actually lose your finger, you will lose the ring you were wearing when doctors have to cut it off … Continue reading

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Yet another believing is seeing moment

Why does the media report these things? A while back I mentioned a woman who claimed she’d found shells on the beach looking like Jesus and Mary. This time around, it’s a lump of what might be bone or shell … Continue reading

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