Friday funnies – oh wait.. it’s Thursday

June 16, 2016

Friday as far as I’m concerned. No work for me in the morning. Going to see my folks for the weekend and partake in a family auction for my deceased uncle’s farm equipment and household things. Should be interesting to see how many people turn up for it.

Anyway, jokes:

Why did the physics teacher break up with the biology teacher? There was no chemistry.

A recent scientific study showed that out of 2,293,618,367 people, 94% are too lazy to actually read that number.

Two years ago I asked the girl of my dreams on a date, today I asked her to marry me. She said no, on both occasions.

(all via short-funny)

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Swiss tunnel opening ceremony deemed “satanic”: features guy dressed as goat

June 13, 2016

You should be listening to No Such Thing as a Fish and watching No Such Such Thing as the News, the QI Elves’ foray into television. I just learned a very interesting fact in a recent episode. Gotthard Base Tunnel in Switzerland ran a very unique opening ceremony.

I don’t know what’s going on here.

Breitbart attempts to explain:

The ceremony was intended to represent various aspects of Swiss culture. But, men in masks, others in costumes made of long brown grass, weird angels descending from the ceiling, even a man in a goat mask that others seem to be worshiping are all said by some to be from the pits of hell…

The part that has most galvanized the worldwide web is when a goat man emerges and appears to be worshiped by the dancers, some dressed in grass costumes, others wearing horrifying masks.

It is all a mishmash that is odd and confusing to any casual observer, modern dance that is likely not the taste of the men who built the tunnel, some of whom lost their lives…

Google “Demons of the Alps” and you will see the most troubling part of the show, the men in grass consumes and others in scary masks and even the goat man, are part of Swiss Christmas tradition.

Every year on the December 6th Feast of St. Nicholas of Bari (a Catholic saint who provided the dowries of poor girls so they could get married rather than end up in prostitution and upon whom Santa Claus is based), St. Nicholas wanders around town giving out gifts and money. He is followed by Krampus (Demons of the Alps) who try to scare the children, not unlike what happens at Halloween.

So if you come across anyone claiming it’s demonic, it’s not. It’s just a different culture showing off how they celebrate notable things. Weird as hell, but think about what other cultures must be thinking of yours around Turducken time…


Today’s found on Facebook – God’s Not Dead creators break Thou Shalt Not Steal commandment

June 8, 2016

Via The Wrap:

The people behind the faith-based film “God’s Not Dead” might want to start praying.

Pure Flix Entertainment and its co-founder, David A.R.White, have just been slapped with a lawsuit over the 2014 hit — and the plaintiffs are asking for an ungodly sum.

In the lawsuit, filed in federal court in California on Monday, screenwriters Kelly Monroe Kullberg and Michael Landon Jr. claim that “God’s Not Dead” is a ripoff of their screenplay “Rise.”

There are enough similarities, they claim, to make this a worthwhile case.

According to the suit, “God’s Not Dead” has drawn in more than $140 million worldwide, and Kullberg and Landon are looking for the lion’s share of it, seeking “an amount exceeding $100 million.”

My CFI group has a movie day every month and this was one of the films we heckled. It’s really terrible. It’s ranked 15% on Rotten Tomatoes on the critics’ side, but 77% by audience voters.

The atheist professor apparently hates God because of a family tragedy and the student in the film winds up taking over the philosophy class to prove God exists and goes through the same tired arguments everyone’s used before that don’t prove shit. The end of the film ends at a Hillsong concert (really, could be a movie length plug for Hillsong) where he’s been struck by a car and lays dying and rather than anyone calling an ambulance, people just pray over him. Thanks. That’s helpful. Sure. Saving my soul. I’d rather get medical aid while it’s still worth a try…

The sequel was released April 1st and is probably just as foolish as the first one. (10% and 63%).


Sounds of Sunday – classic Canadian comedy

June 5, 2016

The Arrogant Worms and Jesus’ Brother Bob. Look them up if you haven’t heard of them before. Their other songs are pretty good, too.


Friday Funny – Paris art installation raising eyebrows

October 17, 2014

Christmas tree, sex toy.. You decide…

This inflatable “Christmas tree” erected in Paris is making passers-by feel a little uncomfortable.

The 80ft-high object is raising eyebrows because of its uncanny resemblance to a sex toy, but is actually an installation by American artist Paul McCarthy.

Simply called “Tree”, it is towering over the Place Vendome as part of a contemporary art fair.

McCarthy, who is no stranger to controversy, designed the piece specifically for the “Fiac” festival but it has not been taken well by some critics.

I wonder why… but not much.

Update Saturday Oct 18, 2014: vandals have let the air out of the bag.

This morning Parisians awoke to find Paul McCarthy’s controversial sculpture “Tree” looking like a discarded giant prophylactic after it was deflated by vandals at the Place Vendôme, Paris, during the night.

Since its installation the art work has divided opinion with many Parisians outraged by the 80 foot sculpture’s similarity to an… er… adult novelty item. Well, it now turns out that “Tree” was indeed inspired by that very item as artist McCarthy told Le Monde newspaper that “It all started as a joke.”

“…I realised it resembled a Christmas tree, but it is an abstract work. People can be offended if they want to think of it as a plug, but for me it is more of an abstraction.”

The “abstraction” was lost on some Parisians with one irate passerby slapping the 69-year-old artist in the face and shouting:

“You’re not French and this has no place in the square.”

McCarthy was allegedly dazed but unhurt by the assault and asked:

“Does this sort of thing happen often in Paris?”


Thanksgiving Satan Weekend, part 2

October 11, 2014

It’s Satan weekend here. I’m Canadian and for Thanksgiving weekend I’m giving thanks that I live in a country where I’m allowed to do this. A few stories worth throwing together came around over the past few weeks and I felt like doing a thing, which brings me to the second news story: Satanists expose Christian hypocrisy:

The article is about politically minded satanists and the Christians in Oklahoma who might take issue with people who demand to have the same rights Jesus lovers seem to get automatically just by being Jesus lovers.

Baphomet

The idea of a Satanic monument sitting on government property in Oklahoma—which is like the Bible Belt’s Bible Belt—seems a bit far-fetched, but Greaves says that “there has been quite a bit of discussion among legal scholars who recognize how difficult it would actually be for Oklahoma to turn us down… Constitutional law is quite clear on this issue: The state can’t discriminate against viewpoints. If they’ve opened the door for one, they’ve opened it for all.”

A sign advertising the ten commandments went up on the lawn of the Oklahoma State House and the Satanists want to make the point that letting that sign be on government property is tantamount to claiming there is a state religion and that religion is Christianity.

I’ll have to check back to see how this goes.


Friday funny: another Jesus sighting (but with a twist)

October 3, 2014

A twist of Japanese roll cake:

Usually, Jesus limits his food-based appearances to grilled cheese and Cheetos in certain—shall we say—conservative areas of North America, but it seems like he is making inroads to Asian pastries with an appearance in a dessert offered by Japan’s popular Komeda Coffee chain. And not just that, he decided to present as a famous recent incarnation: the monkey-faced botched restoration of Ecce Homo!

For those who need the reminder, an elderly woman tried to touch up a classic fresco of Jesus with amusing results.

Ms. Giménez said she had worked on the fresco using a 10-year-old picture of it, but she eventually left Jesus with a half-beard and, some say, a monkeylike appearance.

And it will live on as a meme for as long as the internet can remember.