A question of atheist scruples – affairs of the heart

Been a while, but I’m snagging a question from my ’90s edition of the game:

You are very attracted to someone who is happily married. You have no attachments. Do you explore the possibilities?

Only in my fantasies. I wouldn’t ruin a marriage for the chance of getting laid. I do recall a couple times in university, though, when I was young and stupid, kissing guys I knew were in relationships with other girls. But there was also a time when it happened to me, and I was very unhappy over it.

In 1996-1997 I was part of a gang of friends who’d hang out in the Court of Raunch, which was the nickname the guys had given their dorm room. It was an “Anything Goes” kind of place so swears, farts, and whatever else were A-OK in there. I’ll just rename everyone. I was, for some reason, starting something up with Kuno. P-chan (my bestest bud) and Dr. Tofu (suitemate of Kuno, both living in the Court) were starting something up as well. Kuno and I really didn’t have much in common beyond a love for Ranma 1/2, hence the nicknames we all selected for ourselves (I was Akane) while we hung out. He wasn’t great as a boyfriend really, as it turned out; we’d decided to go to a movie and while out waiting to buy tickets, he thought he saw someone he knew and stopped holding my hand. Then later he started doing that thing the kids these days call ghosting. Nothing worse than a guy who refuses to explain why he’s not into you anymore.

Turned out he’d started a thing up with a girl I’ll called Peppermint. We were all friends with her. This girl was not a girl he was ashamed of being caught holding hands with. I was bloody livid and this deceit made it really hard to want to hang out with my friends knowing the two of them would be leaving for some canoodling at any time. P-Chan was torn in two with all this because she was still a thing with Tofu but wanted to spend time with me also.

A year or so later, after P-Chan and Tofu totally split, Tofu and Peppermint were a thing – which is when I got touchy-feely-huggy-kissy with Tofu for an evening..

Like I said: young and stupid.

We didn’t sleep together or anything (I’d had a major crush on the guy for years though), and he didn’t stay with Peppermint much longer either.

No idea where any of them are these days beyond P-Chan, though. She got married to a dude last year. Lovely wedding in their rinky-dink town and I got lost trying to find the church even though it wasn’t a hard place to find…

So, long history story there (TL;DR?) but bottom line no, I wouldn’t start something with a married man, no matter how into him I may feel. It’d be different if the guy’s situation was rocky and he was clearly on his way out of a relationship – a la the Man I fell for and married – but to go into a thing deliberately knowing I may be screwing up something nice? Not my bag, baby.

In terms of Kuno, though, I did confront him once I learned he’d gone around my back to date someone else and didn’t have the guts to break up with me like a man. I was hard core harsh on the guy. Honesty is always the best policy, asshole. I’d rather be told the truth by you and be hurt than learn the truth later from someone else and be furious.

So, not of the era, but a song I like that I’ll throw in now:

About 1minionsopinion

Canadian Atheist Basically ordinary Library employee Avid book lover Ditto for movies Wanna-be writer Procrastinator
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