Weird Tales Magazine offered up the following What If recently:
You wake up and you are yourself, but nine years old.
You know everything you know now.
What do you do?
Question: have I gone back in time to age nine or I just wake up and am nine?
If it’s back in time to nine, I’d smile knowingly then play my Nutty Numbers record and be more careful with it so it doesn’t get all scratched to hell (although, by age 9 it was probably already past saving). I’d also probably tell my cousin to fuck off and give him the finger if he teases me in any way. Dude was a jackass as a kid… I think his older sisters gave him a lot of flak so he felt compelled to lash out at me as pseudo retaliation. But I don’t really know. This is just my grownup self rationalizing his childhood idiocy. I might not even remember right anymore. I’ve had a script in my head for years and I know memory is fallible in all kinds of interesting ways.
If I just woke up tomorrow and was 9, I’d have to get the Man to call into work for me with some oddball excuse and probably just sit and read all day. Or hunt online for the retro cartoons I loved as a kid. There was no internet (it’s ok to not capitalize internet now, by the way) when I was a kid, but my Saturday TV line up included things like the following:
Hilarious House of Frightenstein:
(Watch the whole first episode! Features Vincent Price if you need incentive!)
Spider Man – the 1960s lovely one with the jazzy tracks I’d love to have a copy
Rocket Robin Hood
Hercules (of the same Rocket Robin era – “Herc! Herc!”)
The little Tales of the Wizard of Oz episodes:
and you get the drift.
Either way, it’d be swell to be nine again, so long as I didn’t have to become an adult again the long way and do the whole acne/puberty crap again.