Georgia teen recorded his family’s “pray the gay away” attempts

This is a hard video to listen to and the comments below it are awful and kind of sad. I quote one:

The kid is so disrespectful almost to the point where it is more vile than the parents’ actions. In addition, the people posting rude comments saying “fuck god” or “he’s not real” disgusts me. Stop blaming religion for every single thing that goes viral; it is clearly the family not religion. The family is living their lives based on what they perceive religion to be. Until there is realistic proof that god is not real; I will argue against you. 

“Scientific proof trumps the word of God,” the teen says in the video early on, “in my opinion.” His mother (stepmother?) disagrees with him but he’s still right. Scientifically speaking, it may be mostly his mother’s faut that he’s gay, but not because of his upbringing.

Researchers from the National Institute for Mathematical and Biological Synthesis have said the genetics that makes a person more likely to be gay are passed from fathers to daughters and mothers to sons.

They suggest the answer lies in epigenetics, or how the expression of genes is controlled by ‘temporary switches’, such as how a gene behaves, known as epi-marks.

Gender-specific epi-marks are usually ‘erased’ from generation to generation, but when they do not and they pass from a parent to a child, it can result in homosexuality.

William Rice, the lead author of that piece, thought at the time that it might have something to do with testosterone levels and the release schedule within an embryo.

…these epi-marks protect fathers and mothers from excess or underexposure to testosterone, when they carry over to opposite-sex offspring, ‘it can cause the masculinization of females or the feminization of males.’

With the theory, Rice believes it could also be used to explain the occurrence of identical twins.

The researchers have not tested yet on parents, and as the epi-marks are ‘highly variable’ it can be difficult to assess. However Rice said it is the most ‘plausible explanation so far’.

‘We’ve found a story that looks really good,’ Rice said. ‘This can be tested and proven within six months. It’s easy to test. If it’s a bad idea, we can throw it away in short order.

That line there is what makes everything awesome about science. If it turns out they’re wrong, they can try something else. The point is to find the more likely answer. An answer others could arrive at with similar experiments and study.

That article was published at the end of 2012 but at the end of May 2014, charismanews.com reported on the Royal College of Psychologists who were ready to put down on record their willingness to claim that People Are Not Born Gay. At which point, I say, what the fuck? I don’t normally write in swears here, so you know this is serious.

Core Issues Trust (CIT), which is campaigning against a ban on therapy being offered to people who want to move away from a homosexual lifestyle, says the latest statement by the Royal College admits what it previously denied.

“They now say that the causes of homosexuality are a combination of ‘biological and postnatal environment factors.’ So, if a child does not encounter such postnatal life experiences, he or she will grow up heterosexual,” says the director of CIT, Mike Davidson.

This just makes me want to say fuck psychologists, what the fuck do they know!? Maybe I should quiz my psychologist Freethinker friend and see if he concurs with their stance.

That said, “biological” winds up being another way to mean nature as opposed to nurture. It sounds more like these psychologists are actually hedging their bets and admitting they have no repudiable facts to back up their position on whether or not a person can be born gay.

My dad has a couple cousins from the same parents who both got married to people of the opposite sex but later decided to end those marriages because they were gay. The guy cousin has been with his partner since at least 1992. I can’t speak for the girl cousin because I’ve only met her once or twice in my life that I can recall and never with a partner. I don’t know about my great-uncle, but I think my great aunt was fairly religious during their upbringing, as in, regular protestant church goer. (Her health fails her now in terms of attendance.) I have my doubts that either child has set foot in a church beyond weddings and funerals for a very long time but I’d be overstepping to assume that to be the case. (The one cousin did train to be a Justice of the Peace, though. I briefly considered asking him to officiate our very atheist/agnostic wedding ceremony.)

The Telegraph notes that a gay gene may have some influence in gender identification, but those scientists claim only 40% worth of assurance there.

Dr Bailey said: “Sexual orientation has nothing to do with choice. Our findings suggest there may be genes at play – we found evidence for two sets that affect whether a man is gay or straight.

“But it is not completely determinative; there are certainly other environmental factors involved. “The study shows that there are genes involved in male sexual orientation.

“Although this could one day lead to a pre-natal test for male sexual orientation, it would not be very accurate, as there are other factors that can influence the outcome.”

Dr Alan Sanders, associate Professor of Psychiatry at Northwestern University, who led the study said that it was it was an ‘oversimplification’ to suggest there was a ‘gay gene.’

“We don’t think genetics is the whole story. It’s not. We have a gene that contributes to homosexuality but you could say it is linked to heterosexuality. It is the variation.”

Again, this is what makes scientific inquiry so damned awesome. Nobody really says they’re right. They’ll say, “this is what the data seems to suggest” and then other researchers are free to try to duplicate or disprove those findings. People like Ken Ham see this as a flaw in the scientific method whereas the rest of us see this as proof that it works like it’s supposed to work.

Back to Daniel Pierce and his video that prompted this post.

Pierce’s boyfriend started a GoFundMe account to raise money for living expenses after he was told to leave the house.

“When you watch the video and then you hear what my blood relatives said, and then you look at the comments (online)… it was just crazy,” he said.

Pierce feels overwhelmed by the entire situation. He says he is still trying to process everything and has some counseling sessions set up. He is not alone, and is staying in the care with a friend he considers “chosen family.”

That GoFundMe account has raised more than $88,000 in just two days. He hoped for $2,000. Pierce says he plans to donate some of the money to LGBT support groups, including “Lost and Found Youth.”

I’m glad for him, and I’m glad for the support. Locally, in terms of gay youth, there’s something called fYrefly which runs a summer camp and other activities for LGBTQ kids.

Camp fYrefly-Saskatchewan is an educational, social, and personal learning retreat for sexual minority and gender variant youth (lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans-identified, two-spirited, intersexed, queer, questioning, and allied). It focuses on building and nurturing their leadership potential and personal resiliency in an effort to help them learn how to make significant contributions to their own lives and to their schools, home/group-home environments, and communities. The camp is designed for sexual minority and gender variant youth between the ages of 14 and 24.

The worst thing a person can do to these kids is tell them something is horribly wrong with them. It’s great to know that a support system exists in this country to help these kids and help them find other kids with a similar life history.

If it turns out that the Little Man is gay, I won’t give a damn, his dad won’t give a damn, and I know his mother won’t give a damn either. Gay or Bi or Straight– he’ll know that he is loved and cared for by all of us and he’ll know his life choices are respected. We’ll teach him to treat his loved ones properly, no matter what gender they wish to identify by (if any). It really doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things. What matters is how people treat the people they like and love. That’s it. Nothing else worth saying in terms of that.

But, like every time, I welcome comments. Anything to add or argue about here?

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2 Responses to Georgia teen recorded his family’s “pray the gay away” attempts

  1. Laurance says:

    So if Little Man turns out gay, it’s no problem. Great! I said the same thing to my daughter. I told my daughter if she and her best friend turned out to be lesbians, that was fine by me and I’d be glad to have her friend as my daughter-in-law instead of some guy as my son-in-law.

    But it was a one-way-street. I’m bisexual, and when I came out of the closet my daughter couldn’t deal with it. She had lots of gay friends, and it hurt me that she couldn’t give me the acceptance she gave to all her gay friends.

    Time has passed now, lots of time, and I’m back with my old Sweetheart (who is a man, and believe me, there were horrible issues with him over me – homophobia and biphobia really suck), and my bisexuality is not an issue now. Shucks, at my age I’m seriously postmenopausal and a-sexual.

    But it sucks. I feel for people who have to go through this junk. I’ve had my share of it.

    As for the issue of choice, so what? No, it’s not a choice, but what if it were? What if it were?

    Why shouldn’t people have the right to choose? People have the right to choose what church they go to, or like us, choose to not go to a church at all. People have the right to choose where to live, to choose the kind of work they want to do. People can choose the people they want to be friends with.

    So why can’t people choose whom they love and want to be with???? If people choose to be gay, that choice should be respected in the same way other choices are respected and considered rights.

  2. 1minionsopinion says:

    Thank you for sharing more of your history with me and my other readers. I’m sorry things were bumpy for you for a while. Congrats for reunions and all that, too.

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