He gets credit for finding their jeep. He ought to get credit for making them stupid enough to leave it in a position to be so easily stolen:
A Crawfordsville couple’s Jeep was lost but now it’s found, and they say God is to thank.
On December 9th, Jared and Angela Pickett’s Jeep disappeared from their Crawfordsville apartment.
“It was like I wanted to cry and then I wanted to be mad,” said Angela Pickett. “But I’m like, ‘who can I get mad at?'”
They were partially mad at themselves. Jared Pickett left his keys inside the Jeep between running errands, and he couldn’t lock his driver’s side door because he’d just replaced it with mismatched a dark green one.
“It made it that much easier for somebody to get into my vehicle,” Jared Pickett said. “And then leaving the keys in the console just was the cherry on top of the cake.”
To pile on, Jared Pickett, a member of the national guard, realized that he left his helmet inside the Jeep.
Good gravy. I hope he’s not typical of the National Guard.
Anyway, the couple prayed for a whole week then just as they were losing hope of ever seeing the vehicle again, Angela spotted it in a parking lot after getting lost using GPS. What a couple.
“I looked in the review mirror and I saw the green door, and I screamed, ‘There’s my husband’s Jeep.'” Angela Pickett said.
Once Angela stopped to get a closer look, she saw that the green door wasn’t just a coincidence. The Jeep also has some very distinguishable stickers on the back.
“I saw the orange motorcycle sticker that he has by his license plate,” Angela Pickett said. “Ao I hurried up and called 911. The police officer didn’t know what to say.”
Angela Pickett was speechless too.
“I was in shock. I just texted all my friends. I’m like, ‘I just found my husband’s Jeep,'” Angela Pickett said. “It was a miracle. God led me to his Jeep.”
The police officer was probably stunned that the woman had to use the door and stickers to recognize the vehicle that has been parked at her house every day for who knows how many weeks, months or years. Me, I tend to check the license plate number when I’m approaching what I hope is my car in a parking lot. That’s why I memorized it.
Security at the place where the jeep was left claimed it had been sitting there for a week before Mrs. Pickett came across it. Everything was still in it, so the joyriders obviously changed their mind about keeping a car that distinctive. Plus, finding a National Guard helmet in there probably make them a bit wary of hanging around lest a swarm of uniformed and morally sound men descend upon them and make them regret they were ever born.
Sometimes it can be beneficial to be completely idiotic, I guess. I’m glad they got their vehicle back, but I hope they’ve actually learned something here and won’t stop at, “Isn’t it great that God loves us so much?” Get a proper door, doofus, and lock your damn jeep next time. Cripes…
One Minion's Opinion 
Actually, this event is, shall we say, susceptible to explanation by other means:
“Aw, shit. Honey, I just remembered something.”
“Yeah?”
“Last week I got drunk, then I drove the jeep to the mall, and then there was a cop watching me so I was afraid to get in the car again, so I took the bus home. And then I forgot about it.”
“You mean we’ve been panicking all week because you got drunk? What the hell are we going to do? We already put in an insurance claim. We told all our friends about it, too!”
“Tell you what: you go to the mall and check for it. If it’s still there, we’ll claim it was abandoned by the thieves.”
Oh, and by the way: I’d say that “a swarm of uniformed and morally sound men descend upon them and make them regret they were ever born” is a contradiction in terms — morally sound people would hardly make someone regret they were ever born for what was at most a failed robbery. (And why the fetishizing of the National Guard as “morally sound”, anyway? They’re just ordinary people, in better physical condition than average, who happen to be wearing uniforms. There’s nothing particularly moral about them — heck, during the Vietnam War, the National Guard was a favorite place for well-connected draft dodgers who were too stupid to get into college.)
I’d intended to link this when mentioning moral standards but it wasn’t for the right state–
http://www.chattanoogarecruiting.com/moral_standards.htm
Moral Disqualifications:
(a) Recruiting procurement personnel must determine an applicant’s eligibility based on the moral standards outlined in the regulation.
(b) Moral disqualifications are categorized as follows:
(1) Law Violations/Criminal behavior
(2) Drug use/experimentation (includes all controlled substances)
(3) Pre-Accession drug and alcohol test (DAT)
(4) Tattoo(s)
(5) Homosexuality
(6) Conscientious Objector
It was 4 and 5 that most interested me in the list, why either of those would even matter.