Tried speed dating last night

There’s a business here called Positive Passions that’s started up a service. It’s still in its infancy so attendance levels are small but they hope as more people find out about it they’ll be able to target for demographic a bit better. Next date night is for gays and lesbians so if any Saskatoon and area readers are or know singles who are and would be interested in doing that, contact them. The one after that is for older folks (40 up maybe?) so you can pass that around, too. It was pretty fun and quite the mixed bag of potentials.

I don’t know if I came across as someone worth seeing again, though. I suck at trying to sell myself to people. I always assume my interests won’t be interesting enough to generate interest long term. Lacking a bit of confidence there, I think. I don’t have travel stories or interesting job talk. I’m not a sports fanatic or video game player. I rarely watch television, I don’t have much in the way of hobbies beyond this blog.. What do I have going for me? That winds up being the question I ask myself.

Yeah, so anyway, the dates. I’m reporting on the fact that I never mentioned my atheism/Freethinker involvement to any of the guys I chatted with last night. And, I only mentioned my writing on a blog to one of them but choked about how to explain what I write about. “Social issues and human rights,” is roughly how I phrased it, I think. Accurate, and yet not entirely. Didn’t want to “scare him off” or something.

Hell if I know. Acting cagey can be a self-defense mechanism, I guess, but now I feel like I willingly caged my freethinking wonderful self up instead of being open about what really does make me me.

Religious people never seem to have that trouble. Of the bunch last night, only one young fellow mentioned his involvement with his church, and said, “I want to be a role model.”

“Everybody needs those,” is all I replied. (And then I ticked the “No Second Date” box when the whistle blew, but not specifically because of that. Still a little residual guilt, though.)

Maybe it doesn’t matter on a casual date level but if my aim is a serious relationship with someone at some point, my godlessness is nothing I’d want to hide. It flavours every part of my being, from what I want to do on Sundays (nothing or Freethinker meeting — good one coming up on Sunday: a woman pastor’s going to talk about feminism and challenges within her church or something.) to what I read about (see any blog post to date) to who my friends are.

I should feel confident about stating that I’m in a freethinker group at the very least, or even the skeptics. That might be appealing to some of them. Bells of alarm to others, I suppose, but if that’s the case then they’d never be the ones I’d want to devote a lot of time to anyway, right?

Well, see if I get a call from Positive Passions later today. If not, there’s always next time. At least it gets me out meeting more people. Slightly better than using an internet date site where many never put a picture up and attempts at contact with the ones who do get utterly ignored anyway.

Wish me luck…

About 1minionsopinion

Canadian Atheist Basically ordinary Library employee Avid book lover Ditto for movies Wanna-be writer Procrastinator
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6 Responses to Tried speed dating last night

  1. I think it’s really important when dating to be honest upfront about religion, money and if you want kids.(the money and kids can wait until you know eachother) Also maybe about if you want to move to another city or not. This was a really interesting post. Nextime you meet someone and they’re asking what you’re into tell them about Free Thinkers and your blog, if that’s a turn off for them then don’t worry about it, you don’t want to spend who know how long pretending to be someone you’re not (or hiding who you are) if they seem interested invite them to a meeting.

    You don’t want to not say anything and then find out you’re being criticized by his whole family for eating meat on good friday. Saying “i don’t believe in your religion” will be a good defence but it won’t stop the weird looks/comments. (I learned that the hard way)

  2. 1minionsopinion says:

    5 minutes per “date” isn’t a lot of time, either. I found it tricky to figure out what to talk about with some of them to fill up that time, mind you, but with others it clearly wasn’t enough time at all. It’d be nice to chat with a couple of them again (if not date’s an age thing, sadly).

    I was saying to my friend after (someone else I know was there last night) that I find it hard to express what I want to accomplish in life because I’m a fly by the seat of my pants kind of person. I never had any clear idea of career growing up and the future always was a bit of a hidden mystery for me. Odd, really, but there you go. Long distant goals and planning has never been a strength with me. I certainly admire those who know what they want from the get-go and get on with going after it.

  3. tmso says:

    Oh, dear. SHOUT your godlessness! Be proud of it! I am proud of you.

    I met my husband at a ski resort. We both worked there and one day he asked me out for a ski-date. On the chairlift up the mountain, the first thing out of my mouth was that I’m an atheist and a vegetarian who had no desire to have children.

    We’ve been married for 17 years.

    If you are looking for ‘the one’, be honest. Tell folks about your poems. They are awesome. Maybe recite a short one that expresses YOU in all your glory.

    Good luck and remember to have fun. 🙂

  4. 1minionsopinion says:

    I did get a callback from one of them late last night, an older gentleman who’ll be nice company for a round of coffee, I suppose. Probably not much more than that, though, but I’m sure we’ll have a good time anyway.

  5. tmso says:

    Oooohhh, details. You must now give details. 😉

  6. 1minionsopinion says:

    Unlike my new European-minded friend, I balk at divulging certain subjects of a personal nature… I did turn him into a Freethinker member, though. I can’t actually take total credit. It turned out we had a mutual friend who’s active in the group as well and after I raved about it he was eager to come to today’s meet. Sadly I missed saying hello. I should have at least welcomed him personally. If he reads this, apologies. I ditched the pub stuff today too.. I double booked myself (and in the process might have interested someone else in joining our group besides…)

    Have to write about our meeting now. It was awesome.

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