How did I miss word about the new miracle healer?

Pulled a kid right out of a coma with his voice, he did.

At least, David Hasselhoff says he did, with a recording of his voice for a young fan:

Britain’s Got Talent judge Hoff told BBC Radio Five Live: “The upside of being in showbiz is being able to hold the hand of a kid who is dying, you know.

“I did a tape for a kid saying, ‘Hey buddy, it’s Michael Knight, Michael Knight, come on, wake up, wake up, wake up’.

“The phone rang and they said, ‘Remember that kid you did the tape for that was hit at that crosswalk in London? Well we played the tape for him and he came out of the coma.’

I went, ‘Whoa, whoa’. He said, ‘We played it ONCE’.

“I met the kid at the hotel afterwards.

“I don’t want to be corny or anything but that’s happened to me a thousand times all around the world because it can affect people in a positive way.”

Emphasis was in the original. I’m curious about the “thousand times all around the world” line, I have to say. Is it mere hyperbole or does he truly believe there are that many people who could claim similar miracles occurred in his presence?

I don’t tend to follow celebrity buzz – and frankly, after the naked puppy and drunken burger incidents I’d written the man off completely – but I googled “I was healed by David Hasselhoff” and nobody else has courageously stepped forward to claim he has that kind of power. I did find the interview CBS 2 / KCAL 9 Los Angeles posted with Gary Bryan and Lisa Stanley of KEARTH 101 FM, who had a few laughs over the idea of Hasselhoff curing thousands with positive thinking. “Why doesn’t he heal himself with those powers?” asks Stanley, who thinks he’s “Hoff his rocker”.

Another amusing thing I found about him was a forum post from years back by someone who decided he’s the anti-Christ, partly because his name can be arranged into “fad of devil’s hash”:

What does this mean? Well, Baywatch is David’s fad. David is the devil. The Hash is what makes Knight Rider popular in Amsterdam.

(I was actually hoping to make the letters in his name spell out he is of the devil, which would be possible if his middle name was “Ethesis,” which it might be. I’m sure his publicist would hide such a middle name if it were true.)

Second — and most importantly — David Hasselhoff and his television series were foretold in the Bible. Biblical scholars worldwide may quibble over interpretations, but they all agree on this….

So is he a miracle worker, the devil incarnate (read that whole thing; it’s hilarious), or a whackaloon allowed too close to microphones? You decide.

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