The international Day of Pink is coming up on April 13th and while most of the community events will target bullying in schools or homophobia, I wonder if it can extend toward bullying in relationships and the abusive treatment of women. The following post has been in my draft folder since October 27th, 2010:
She split with the US star last year after it emerged he had been harming her and after months of silence, she has finally opened up about her turbulent time.
Reflecting on it, the Rude Boy singer says she needed that push in her life to move on and change direction.
Speaking to Marie Claire magazine, she said: ‘God has a crazy way of working, and sometimes when stuff happens you feel like, ‘What did I do to deserve this? Why was it backfiring on me?’
‘But I needed that wake-up call in my life. I needed a turning point, and that’s what God was giving to me.’
God gave her an abusive boyfriend because that was the best way to alert her to a rut she was in? The hell?
Like many musicians, the 22-year-old used this experience in her music for a collaboration with Eminem on Love The Way You Lie which is a song about the two sides of an abusive relationship.
And hitting back at criticism that claims the hit song glorifies domestic violence, she said: ‘Every word in that song is true. It would take somebody who’s been on the inside to understand how magical those lyrics are.
‘Everybody loves the song but the lyrics can never hit home until you’ve seen it, witnessed it, in your home or experienced it yourself.’
So is she glad she had the experience because it gave her an opportunity to sell a song?
So lost in the moments
When you’re in ’em
It’s the rage that took over
It controls you both
So they say it’s best
To go your separate ways
Guess that they don’t know ya
That was yesterday
Yesterday is over
It’s a different day
Sound like broken records
But you promised her
Next time you’ll show restraint
You don’t get another chance
Life is no Nintendo game
But you lied again
Now you get to watch her leave
Out the window
Guess that’s why they call it window pane
Congratulations, Eminem. That last line is the worst I’ve ever seen, I think. But anyway. The end of the song has the guy swearing that if she ever comes back, he’ll tie her to the bed so she can’t leave again and then he’ll set the place on fire. That’s magical, all right.
I’ve never been in an abusive relationship. I know it’s a cycle, though, and if they do it once, they’ll do it again, and again, and no matter how many times they might promise that last time was the last time, they’ll find another reason to do it again.
I’m glad she got out of it. I just question why she thinks she deserved to go through it, had to go through it. Nobody deserves that.
edit March 30/10: On the topic of Chris Brown, this article from ABC:
Brown went on a rampage in his dressing room after Robin Roberts asked him some questions about his domestic violence incident with Rihanna two years ago, tearing off his shirt, and smashing a window. ABC later announced that they would not press charges.
On top of that, his performance for this week’s Dancing With The Stars, also on ABC is still on as scheduled. Good Morning America even extended an invitation back to the show to clear the air.
But where was all this hospitality when Adam Lambert kissed a male dancer on stage during a previous performance on the network back in 2009 at the AMA’s?
Following that incident, Lambert was subsequently banned from the network, with appearances on Good Morning America and Dick Clark’s Rockin’ New Years Eve being canceled as early as the morning after.
So why is tossing a chair through a window forgivable but an openly gay man kissing another man so taboo?