Jealous of pizza tray jesus, other family claims he’s really in a tree

I make that up. Oh, not the pizza tray part, or the tree part. Just the jealous part. I doubt they announced their “discovery” just because the bar guy is getting lots of attention right now. (Even I wound up writing about him.) I think they just wanted some attention, too, and the media is enabling them.

So anyway, this tree in McLean, Virginia. The Nortons had a limb removed from a tree in their yard weeks ago and as the wound dried, it created a pattern reminiscent of a faded Victorian portrait.

“I noticed the hair and then the beard and then it came together,” said Bella Norton, 12 Years Old.

“I think that is Jesus,” said Lamya Norton, mom.

Because everyone knows images of hair and beards can only be images of Jesus. Like no one else in history ever had hair and a beard…

I think they’ve been sitting on this “news” until they could spring it on a receptive audience, and what better time than Lent, eh?

She said her husband noticed it first weeks ago. She didn’t want to believe it, but on Ash Wednesday, she looked out her dining room window and saw it clear as day.

“It was a little emotional for me,” Lamya said.

Lamya’s mother, Marion Alany, used to own the house before selling it to her daughter. Alany said the tree has always been there, and now she believes Jesus has too.

“I had breast cancer,” said Alany. “But everything is fine and I’m doing well… There are bigger things in life, and just to go with the flow.”

Leading the overly gullible to think maybe Tree Jesus cured her cancer? Don’t think that won’t occur to some of them. Lamya certainly seems willing to make that bizarre connection:

Lamya is now sharing her discovery with her six children.

“It’s a sign that we’re all safe and it’s, everybody is loved in our family,” said Bella.

It’s a sign that people will see what they want to see. Nothing more.

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