Lohan’s parents insist God knows what he’s doing

At least, Lindsay’s mother, Dina, says so. The link I used to quote her father, Michael, last September has died, but he’d come up with the idea to start a rehab center centered on the “fact” that there’s a God and good conquers evil and the body’s a temple and all that. He was also quoted as saying

All of the things that have happened to me in my life have led to this. I know this is what God wants me to do first and foremost.”

A few weeks later, Mr. Lohan was in the news again when Lindsay was released from jail.

God willing, Lindsay has seen the light, and hopefully, she will listen to her heart and God, rather than the ‘machine.’ Hopefully, she will go into a rehab NOW, to keep her freedom, to show the judge that she is serious and to make the decision that will truly change her life for the better.

Anyone who actually follows this celebrity gossip knows how her rehab and life is working out. She was just in court accused of grand theft over a $2,500 necklace and the court doubled her bail because she was on probation at the time. Which brings me to Dina and remarks made by The Hollywood Gossip reporting on the PopEater exclusive.

Dina Lohan says God has a plan for troubled her daughter Lindsay.

Somewhere, God is so pissed that Dina just dragged Him into this.

One of the worst celebrity moms in history tells PopEater there’s a higher power at work and her daughter is thankful for another chance after yesterday’s court date, during which she was remanded into custody but allowed to post bail.

“It’s all good. God has a big plan,” Dina Lohan said, although she did not elaborate on whether the Lord feels it was all a misunderstanding when Lindsay walked out of the jewelry store with an expensive necklace or merely deserves mercy.

Lohan took the not guilty route and bail was set for $40,000. To quote PopEater:

Judge Scwartz was not amused at the arraignment on Wednesday and gave Lohan a verbal a**-whupping.

“You’re in a different situation now that a felony has been filed against you … If you violate the law, I will remand you and set no bail,” the blunt Schwartz told Lindsay. “You’re no different than anyone else, so please don’t push your luck, because I’m telling you, things will be different.”

Let’s hope Lindsay is listening; even if God’s on your side you have to obey the laws.

Apparently she couldn’t obey the “Thou shalt not steal” one that made the 10 commandment cut over two hundred centuries ago, either. I’m not even religious and I tend to abide by that one. I don’t like verbal a**-whuppings and I’m pretty sure I’d like jail even less.

MTV is behind on updating her crime time line but it goes back to 2005.

That said, I wonder if it’s unwillingness or inability at the root of this. Is this a case of her not wanting to be good bad enough? If she wanted to be healthy and on the right side of the law she’d stick to her rehabs and get off the drugs and avoid the alcohol and make it to court on time. Wouldn’t she? It’s not like people aren’t trying to help her straighten out. Why does she do this to herself? Is celebrity pressure behind it? Not every child star falls, though. How much of this could be directly her fault (acts of rebellion?) and how much of it has been due to peer pressure or bad parenting?

None of this I could possibly answer, of course. I just wonder if we’ll see her name in an overdose headline at some point, or a fatal car accident report. It’ll take more than a belief in God to keep that kind of thing from happening.


See also: Prison Minister Tries to Reach Out to Lindsay Lohan

In his latest letter to the “Mean Girls” star, Marty Angelo, who himself was arrested in 1980 for two counts of cocaine possession, said he is “saddened” to see her face yet another formal charge.

“Lindsay, I am speaking to you today as not just a prison minister and friend of your father but as a person who has traveled down the same road you are on,” writes Angelo in a letter released Thursday. “I know what works and through God’s grace, mercy and love have been straight for 30 years.”

Angelo’s attempts at reaching Lohan began when the actress’ father, Michael Lohan, contacted him in 2007 to help his daughter. The older Lohan had read Angelo’s book, Once Life Matters: A New Beginning, which he said changed his life while he was in prison.

Cripes.. Michael Lohan was in prison, too? What a family… Apparently he was the Hollywood Dad from Hell for a while. If he’s been an ordained minister aiming to keep kids off drugs since 2007, why has he been unsuccessful with his own daughter? Back to the minister:

Although he finds it unfortunate that some consider her as a “the poster child of America’s troubled youth,” he want to assure her that there is hope. But first she needs to repent and then get away from the industry for a year.

“She should repent. She needs to take a break from that whole industry that she’s in. It glorifies that lifestyle that they are so used to that. That’s why I said a 12-month faith-based program would get her started,” he said.

Angelo emphasized that the first step in the program would be “introducing her to Christ.”

It also says she was raised a Catholic so she’s eaten Christ more than a few times by now. I doubt a different introduction is required. I agree about the break, though. That girl needs to get away from all the crap that causes her problems. I should invite her to my folks’ farm. They don’t even have high speed internet…


edit 5:20pm: Completing a Lindsay Lohan trifecta here, from Cele|bitchy:

“I just want to be on set again, and left alone to just work!” No, she doesn’t. If she wanted that, she would be taking all of this seriously and she would be doing what it takes to be sober and honest and reliable. Here’s the kicker: Lindsay loves all of this. She loves the attention. She loves the hustle. She loves the drama. She thinks her life is one big performance.

I guess that’s because it has been, yeah?

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