I took the bus home Thursday after work and did little on the internet over the weekend beyond checking temperatures and wind conditions. I had a serious craving to re-live my childhood. I dug out the old Krazy Karpet and zoomed down the prairie hills on it. I forgot how literally breathtaking it could be to fly down a hill at full speed.. and then belly flop over a drift onto my face…
Christmas night we had 14 or so people over for supper. There was a point in the night where a couple of my aunts were complaining about the fact that people want to take prayer out of school and references to God out of the anthem but I wasn’t in the mood to explain why that’s a worthwhile endeavour so I kept silent.
The folks drove me back to the city Sunday afternoon and we did a bit of Boxing Day shopping. Dad wanted a new shop vac and Mom wanted jeans. I wound up with a couple new pairs myself and yesterday I bought some more rooster crap for my kitchen. They left around noon and I spent the rest of the day pulling the festive stuff down and reorganizing my things while Big Bang Theory played in the background. It’s nice to have things back to normal around here.
A confession next: I’ll admit that over these past few months I’ve been less than my usual enjoyable self. I don’t blame the Man; I blame recurring thoughts of the Man and the fact that I’ve had some difficulty reconciling my dreams of a future with the reality that I likely deluded myself into thinking a future with me was something he’d seriously want. I should have just thought of it all as a meaningless fling instead of whatever the hell my brain and heart did to me instead. It would have been easier to deal with his departure and the total lack of contact that way. No promises, no demands…just “Okay, that’s done. Who’s next?” You know? Not that a next is likely anytime soon. I’m less “Sex and the City” and more pon farr, frankly. I have no idea when or if I’ll ever feel that comfortable in the arms of someone again.
Ah well, anyway. Live, learn, and lean on those you can count on, right? That’s really the best any of us can do.
Topical posts will resume New Year’s day. I don’t know if I want to make any resolutions for next year, but I’ll try to promise not to abandon my posts at least. I’ve got to do something to justify spending money on an internet connection. I think next year I might actually upgrade to a portable machine and wireless, although not right away. I’ll need to do some research first and find out what will suit me best. I think I’m also going to figure out how to string my guitar and learn how to play it properly. I’ll never take it on stage or busk, but it’d be nice to at least be able to honestly say I know how to use it. heh. Maybe try my hand at some songwriting for something different, too.
Well, that’s all for today. Have fun with whatever you’re doing. If you’re still on holidays, lucky you. If your work week resumes today like mine does, good luck playing catch-up.