Does the name Lord Sugar turn you on?

I can’t say it does much for me, but then I had to look up who he was. I’m not up on that kind of thing.

And on the topic of up, it turns out his autobiography was recently used as an aid to masturbation at a British library.

The Sun reports that the unidentified man was observed acting strangely while browsing the business section of Crawley Library last week.

Staff saw him choose What You See Is What You Get before he covered his lap with his coat and proceeded to touch himself.

“He spent about 20 minutes looking through the books in the business section before selecting Alan Sugar’s autobiography,” a source said. “He was behaving rather oddly so we kept an eye on him and then he just sat down with his coat over his lap and started pleasuring himself as he looked through the book.

“It was very bizarre behaviour and our security guys got a hold of him before too many people saw what he was doing.”

Security guards detained the man before police arrived and held him on suspicion of outraging public decency. He has since been cautioned and banned from using the library.

Commenting on Twitter, Lord Sugar told one follower: “Took me to seriously when I said cum and get it (sic)”

Apparently so. I wonder how long a ban the man wound up getting for his public indecency. I also wonder why he didn’t just borrow the damn thing and take it home to play with. The things people do at libraries…

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