Poland solves hunger crisis! Can waste money on Jesus statue now!

They must have gotten everyone homes and jobs already, too. Poland must be a terrific place to live if they can spend so much money on building the world’s biggest Jesus statue.

Oh, hang on. I’m reading this wrong. Poland hasn’t solved any of those problems. Some town in Poland’s just decided to waste all its money on a ridiculous tourist trap.

Swiebodzin, a Polish town of 21,000 near the German border, will soon be home to a 33-metre effigy of Christ, which, along with a crown that adds a further two metres and its 16-metre mound will put all other statues dedicated to the son of God in its shade.

Due for completion in November, the monument should pip the world’s current record holder, Bolivia’s Cristo de la Concodia statue, by some nine metres, and look down on the world famous statue in Rio de Janeiro, which stands just 30 metres tall minus its plinth. Although erected ostensibly to show gratitude to God

they’ve ironically spent a shitload of money to bring a little tourist money to their town. Do they really think they’ll be able to earn it all back with this thing?

“If we had opened a racetrack or a golf course here, tourists would have come only for the season. But with a statue of Jesus the season will last the whole year,” a local official told Wprost, a weekly news magazine.

With construction nearing the end, engineers face the hazardous task of lifting the figure’s massive head and shoulders into place, which, officials say, might require the use of a helicopter.

Why didn’t they make it into a giant hotel while they were at it? That at least would have been interesting. Which room would be most sought after, do you think, one up in the head region, or one in the area where that other head would ostensibly be?

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