Sign, Sign, Everywhere a Sign (of angels?)

I think I wasted twelve dollars and a half hour of my life. All in all, it could be worse; I could have come out of that lecture believing angels really are all around me.

This was Saskatoon’s third year participating in the Body, Soul & Spirit Expo. Booths included chakra yoga, psychic healing, massage, gemstones, holistic medicine, ridiculous products targeting health and well-being and angels.

I’d stopped at the Soul Vibrations booth ahead of time to see what I could learn about talking to angels before sitting through the lecture. The lady at the booth offered a bowl to me with mass produced archangel cards in it. Apparently all the cards were touched or breathed on by the very archangels listed on them. Mine wound up being Uriel’s. His name means “God is Light” and he is supposed to have a pale yellow aura. From the card:

Heals resentment and unforgiveness; gives us insight and new ideas, prophetic and intellectual information, helps with natural disasters and weather, alchemy, divine magic, problem solving, spiritual understanding, studying for tests…

Yes, Uriel’s resume ends with ellipses. I don’t know why; perhaps the card is too small to list everything he’s capable of. And for most of that, you’ll have to ask him to do it. He won’t do you any favours. None of them will, archangel or guardian angel, according to the couple who told us all about these marvelous super beings made of love.

Bonnie and David were a hilarious duo. Obviously they believed every piece of crap that came out of each other’s mouths and it appeared as if none of the (small) audience were skeptical of their angelic pronouncements except for me. One woman nodded through the whole thing. I would have nodded through the whole thing, too, but the microphones were too loud for me to sleep. It must have been a sign to listen!

Bonnie and David talked about how talking with angels requires asking them directly for aid because God gave us all free will and angels have little power over us if we don’t invite it. But you can’t do the inviting if you’re asking from a place of fear. Then you might not get angels answering. And you’ll know if it’s an angel that answered by the feeling of total love. But if that’s not enough, you can pretty much pick anything you want to use as a sign that you were heard. But, they warn, you aren’t going to get what you want, you’ll get what you need.

Unless you need medical aid, then you get a disclaimer on their website:

An Angelic Coaching session is a powerful, energizing and life-changing tool for growth, but is not intended to be a substitute for medical care.

That’s the problem with this kind of nonsense. They’ll sell people (at a hefty price, I might add) the idea that angels are problem solvers but all they’re really good for is “advice” on whether or not to eat the chicken or buy a dress.

One of the questions asked by a girl in the audience near the end had to do with how to know it was really an angel’s answer to a question and not just the ego or intuition doing the work. Well, they said, you can ask the angel to give you a real definite sign and that will prove it. Which brings me to the title of the post.

They pretty much warned the audience not to bother asking the angel to show up in person. Only people with a working third eye are lucky enough to see that, and even then the “vision” is open to such wide interpretation as to be useless as proof, when you think about it. They said that it could be a feeling of unconditional love, or the scent of flowers, or a tingling in your butt (seriously – some woman at an earlier session had been told the archangel Michael was behind her and suddenly she decided the butt tingle she was experiencing was a sign of something other than an uncomfortable chair). And they said that every single group of angel talker session sellers will tell people something different, but it’s all real and right and true all the same (and they used the blind men/elephant analogy as their proof of that). Then David added that he always knew when Jesus was around because he’d suddenly smell strawberries.

I’m thinking the man might need a CT scan, but I didn’t say that out loud.

All people really need to do, they said, was learn to interpret the signs. And if people aren’t sure they know how to do that, the expensive sessions offered by that company can assist in “teaching” some skills.

I guess there are people in the world who look for help any way they can get it. If they think this will help them, they’ll spend money trying it. But since success is never guaranteed on any of this (“some can do it at age 3, some can’t until age 133!”) the sellers of this swill are in the clear. If it doesn’t work for you, it’ll never be because angels don’t exist. You didn’t buy a delusion; you just didn’t learn the right skills. But don’t worry – they’re equipped to sell you more.

It’s a shame that people will buy it.

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About 1minionsopinion

Canadian Atheist Basically ordinary Library employee Avid book lover Ditto for movies Wanna-be writer Procrastinator
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