Thoughts about obsession

So, the Man (as I shall fondly call him) and I were having yet another one of our delightful rambled conversations – the kind created by two people who have discovered they have quite a lot in common yet still know very little about each other. After I’d bitched about described the obsessive computer habits of a couple other guys I’d been with in the past and how I’d been pissed off bothered by a feeling of taking second place against their machines, he nodded and went on to explain how preoccupied he once was with his computer.

Prior to the birth of the Little Man, and prior to other aspects of life’s complexities, he was into music making and would be very focused on a project, intent on getting just the right bass sound for it and whatever. This took up a hell of a lot of time, apparently, especially when finding the right sound required finding just the right vinyl recording to model it on, or simply making it from scratch when that plan failed.

We never got back to that part of the conversation, but I’ve since mulled it over in my mind. I think there is a marked difference in the Man’s creative use of his machine and those other schlubs I’d found myself in the company of.

The Brit loved to take his computer apart, play with hardware, software, and attempt all kinds of tweaks just so he could brag about his successes, like getting Windows running on his Acorn. Okay, well done, you. But why am I, this naïve idiot tourist girl, supposed to give a damn about that? I mean really. But I oohed and I ahhed because some response was expected of me at the time.

Mr. Switzerland did a bit of that kind of work for fun but mostly what he did was come back to the apartment after a shift at a half-time job that didn’t thrill him and proceed to burn the rest of the day away playing games like Command and Conquer. All he’d have to show for hours, days or weeks of that was the bragging rights to wrapping the game, something hundreds, nay thousands, did before he even bought it. And I’d be stuck watching him play these games for hours because getting him out of the house to do something fun in the sunshine was completely out of the question and, as the socially inept new girl in town with no friends, I had little else to occupy me, save my own machine conveniently situated on the desk beside his.

The Man’s quest to find the best possible sound for his efforts is a far more useful use of time, as I see it, because the end result winds up being something tangible. The completion of a song marks the arrival of a thing that never existed before, that others can enjoy and appreciate. Same goes for me and my writing (such as it is). I’m putting these words together to describe these ideas that have been described before, most likely, but in what I can only hope is in my own unique way. I, too, create something new here. Maybe it’s not worth showing to anyone, but at least it is something new.

Should the Man ever get his computer up and running again and find the time to get back into this music stuff, any amount time he gives over to that is going to be time well spent if he’s happy with the outcome. As one who could put hours into one single blog post, or burn a whole month up to write one story for NanoWrimo that I’ll show nobody, I’m hardly in a position to winge about that.

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Canadian Atheist Basically ordinary Library employee Avid book lover Ditto for movies Wanna-be writer Procrastinator
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