Dear Robert Pattinson, you won’t put fans’ heads on stakes now will you?

“News” (in quotes because it’s questionable) has come out that the “star” (same quotes for the same reason) of the Twilight films may be a distant relative of Vlad the Impaler. Bing over at Happy Jihad’s House of Pancakes called him Sparkle Tits the Impaler, which I thought was quite hilarious. From the Yahoo article he referred to:

“Tracing Pattinson’s family back to Vlad was difficult research, but the pieces that unraveled created the perfect accompaniment to the Twilight Saga,” said Anastasia Tyler, a genealogist at “Without any myth or magic, we find royalty and vampires lurking in Pattinson’s life — making his story just as supernatural as the one he’s playing on screen.”

That’s just dumb. There’s nothing supernatural about genealogy. I’ll buy his possible relation to Vlad (Bing points out that a lot of people by now can claim the same), but Vlad Dracul was not a vampire. Vampires don’t exist. They don’t suck blood from their victims, they don’t lure delectable virgins into their gothic mansions by the means of mesmerism or sex appeal, and they sure as hell don’t sparkle when the sun shines.

The only reason this article exists is because someone wants a little fame by proxy. Right, Anastasia Tyler?

The Telegraph also picks up the “story” but gives credit to someone else for a similar quote:

Dan Jones, international content director of, said: “Without any myth or magic, we’ve found royalty and vampires lurking in Pattinson’s family history, making his story as supernatural as the one he’s playing on the silver screen.

“Family history is all about exploring family mysteries, whether you’re looking for celebrities or even vampires, all it takes is some digging.”

I wonder how that happened. Who said it first? Does anyone even care?

About 1minionsopinion

Canadian Atheist Basically ordinary Library employee Avid book lover Ditto for movies Wanna-be writer Procrastinator
This entry was posted in In the Media, Not news at all, skepticism and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Dear Robert Pattinson, you won’t put fans’ heads on stakes now will you?

  1. Alexis says:

    Well it looks like the media doses as the story was all over the place.
    Thanks you for your article and for pointing out the facts. So now I guess Ancestry will charge extra for their Vampire census records since all it would take is for some of us to be so curious as to take a look???

    Twilight and the White House

    What does Twilight, Dracula, Robert Pattinson, the White House have in common? Why did the PR from Ancestry UK stir up such a buzz and can they really prove this connection generation by generation?

  2. 1minionsopinion says:

    Ancestry is always kind of interesting anyway, no matter who it turns out is a distant relative. I have little interest in doing that research myself. I have family members who are kind of into it but I don’t think they’ve found any links to royalty or famous/infamous people.

    It must be troublesome to do that kind of work knowing that names change or get lost in translation or parish records are lost or census information is incomplete or non existent. I’m almost amazed they find anything, sometimes.

  3. 1minionsopinion says:

    Thanks for the email and plug on your post, Tamura. (see her take here — I knew it was shoddy journalism anyway, calling something like that newsworthy, but it’s interesting to realize some of the blame has to go to the people who design press releases. Assuming the media outlets aren’t doing a little editing of their own once they get them.

    Apparently Anastasia Tyler is not even employed as a genealogist, but as a PR and Events manager. Did someone assume it’d sound better if readers could assume she herself did that research? Would the real genealogist given this chore even want to stand up and claim it?

Comments are closed.