Quotable Shoebox rejects

I’m glad I found Shoeboxblog. It’s totally delightful. It’s the comics that first drew me in. Some blogger I’d found (now forgotten) had a zombie nativity pic in a post that linked back to that site but it has more than snarky cartoons. It also has an area set aside for greeting card messages that never made the cut:

I actually went to school with a guy named Jesus.
So I try not to ask myself, “What Would Jesus Do?”
because man, that guy was thick.

I like you!

You smell like soap from a really good hotel!

You’re 21! There’s nothing holding you back now!

Except prison.

You’re quirky in the cute ‘n’ fun way.
Not in the “Where’d all the small animals go?” way.
Happy Birthday!

I picked out the perfect Christmas gift for you!

All you have to do is go to Amazon.com and click “buy”.

I guess there is more to the art of greeting card writing than coming up with something vaguely amusing and sending it in. As one who never knows what to write in a card, though, I think what they should be selling are stickers with appropriate responses on them. They could even be ordered pre-stamped with your name to save even more time and consternation when someone passes you a card, a pen, and an impatient look:

Your baby looks just like you (before the nose job)! Best of luck during flu season, love 1minion.

Congrats on your wedding, but just in case, keep the box for that blender. The receipt’s taped inside and you’ve got 11 more months to return it. Yours..

Hope you enjoy your new home. I’m sure that dead raccoon smell will fade eventually…

Sorry to hear of your break-up. You know what they say, there are always more fish in the sea. But next time, try not to land another shark. Your boat’s not big enough…

About 1minionsopinion

Canadian Atheist Basically ordinary Library employee Avid book lover Ditto for movies Wanna-be writer Procrastinator
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