Looks like everyone’s after the Apocalypse dollar

and forgetting that money will be worth squat after that happens anyway…

So, I saw Zombieland today. Don’t worry, I won’t spill any of the intentionally ridiculous guts of the show if anyone’s trying to go into it not knowing what to expect. That was my desire and I think had a funnier experience than I would have knowing what was in there beyond the trailer. I’ll just mention stuff about the main actors really quick, and then get to the meat (har) of my post.

I think Woody Harrelson was channeling his Natural Born Killers days. There was an aura of Mickey around that Tallahassee character in a big way. Jesse Eisenberg, who recently did Adventureland (a movie I think deserves far more notice), plays Columbus and has that awkward likability going for him, much the same as John Cusack used to be good at in his younger days. I thought the girls seemed more like plot devices than fleshed out characters, unfortunately. The movie got a little blah if it was only them on screen. Fortunately there weren’t many scenes like that. Most of the time they were paired up with the boys and came to life within the ensemble.

And that’s all I’ll say about that movie. Now, about the trailers I watched before it. Of the ones I remember, three of them had to do with end of the world type stuff. Doesn’t that seem like a lot?

There was Legion, which I think I’ll wind up seeing, just because it’s angels gone to hell and it looks really cool. I love those hard core good against evil shows, especially when the evil is so horrifyingly evil. Of course, the good guys always win those ones, so it gets to be a bit of a drag. It’s better when things are a little bit grey, you know? Not so cut and dried. Dennis Quaid and Paul Bettany star. Bettany is an archangel apparently sent down to protect the unborn child of some waitress. Second coming shit, I suppose. Whatever. There’s funky demons. I’m in line. Bring it.

There was one for Cormac McCarthy’s The Road starring (among other big names) the ever nummy Viggo Mortensen and the ever gorgeous Charlize Theron in a cold dark future in dire need of moral standards. Whatever cataclysmic event leads them to head south, it seems it’s also brought out the worst in people. It looked gritty and dramatic and I’m starting to think I should be reading that man’s books.

The other one, which I’ve left to last for a reason, was the trailer for 2012, starring the once great John Cusack in what looks like the crappiest bit of film-flam since The Day After Tomorrow, which starred Dennis Quaid and was directed by 2012’s director, Roland Emmerich. Maybe I should rethink Legion? Or should Roland take all the blame? This is not the same trailer I saw today, but watch for the little plane. It’s in here:

Would a pilot really fly so low as to risk being hit by cars and trains falling off broken overpasses? Or even low enough to risk being crushed by a tipping high rise? Would not a pilot with any lick of sense crank that steering thing into his crotch and get some fucking altitude?

So it’s got a “deep impact” theme like Deep Impact pounded into viewers back in 1998. I think it’s safe to say this stuff’s been done and it’s now overdone. I’m almost hoping 2012 does kick off an armageddon, if it means never having to see another Armageddon type movie come to screens again.

About 1minionsopinion

Canadian Atheist Basically ordinary Library employee Avid book lover Ditto for movies Wanna-be writer Procrastinator
This entry was posted in culture, movies, reviews and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.