How to lose a finger playing volleyball

Wear a ring to your game, get it caught in the net and yank too hard, that’s how. If you don’t actually lose your finger, you will lose the ring you were wearing when doctors have to cut it off your broken, swollen digit.

Jewelry has its place and its place is not in school.

Now, is that a newsworthy statement, and by “newsworthy” I mean deserving of column space in a major paper?

I don’t think so. But, add the fact that the ring in question is a purity ring and the girl who owns it was told to stop wearing it at school and suddenly it’s not a public safety announcement but a “You’re Stepping On My Christian Rights” story.

Kioni, who is a regular church-goer, was inspired to wear the ring by the American pop group the Jonas Brothers, who have all made pledges of celibacy.

Purity rings are popular in America where organisers have persuaded a vast number of teenagers to abstain from sex.

Kioni, of Ottery St Mary in Devon, said: ‘Lots of girls sleep around. I want to keep myself pure.

‘Many of my friends want to get one. If people can wear head scarves, why can’t I wear a ring?’

Kioni, who will turn 13 later this month, added: ‘The ideas behind the purity ring are something I believe in. I believe in Jesus and a lot of his teachings.

Big whoop, kid. It’s a ring. If your school has a rule about not wearing rings, you can’t wear the ring, no matter how much it means to you. You can feel strongly about chastity and abstinence and Jesus without bragging and complaining to the media. It’s not about what the ring stands for, little miss. It’s about all rings.

Yesterday, Mrs Jarrett defended the ban and said: ‘The ring would be extremely dangerous in PE, technology or science lessons.

‘I have told Kioni she can keep the ring in her bag. I’m quite happy for her to have it in school.’

She added: ‘It’s great that young people have this commitment. I think purity rings are a great idea. But she should keep it in her pocket or purse – it would be a health and safety issue if she wears it on her hand.

‘It’s not a case of being religious or anti-religious. We take the view that it’s potentially dangerous.’

I expect the same rule would apply to earrings in Phys. Ed., too. I knew a girl in school who ripped her earlobe after getting an earring snagged on a net. That’s not a mistake you make twice.

This girl needs to get over herself.

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Canadian Atheist Basically ordinary Library employee Avid book lover Ditto for movies Wanna-be writer Procrastinator
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