How (not) to save your four year old

Possummomma already wrote about this “mother” but I feel compelled to give the original post a similar treatment.

I don’t have kids but it’s a safe bet I’d never treat them this horribly if I did. I don’t want to quote the whole thing but I’ll set the scene – The woman has a four year old daughter who wants to be a good kid. Hell, what kid doesn’t (at least some of the time)? She tells her mother every morning that she’s going to be good all day.

Goodness is such an arbitrary concept. What kind of “good” should a four year old aim for in a day? Not whining in the store for toys? Not teasing siblings? Cleaning up messes when or before she’s told to? Not spilling juice on the living room rug? Using manners at the table? Not lying about eating the broccoli or brushing her teeth? Not begging to stay up past bedtime?

However it’s defined, the kid lapses on the promise within an hour of waking. Who wouldn’t? It’s a ridiculous promise to expect a kid to keep. Most adults can’t even manage it.

Here’s where the teeth-gnashing comes into it.

Sometimes during the day or before bed, she always asks me if she has been good, and I always try to be as honest as I can with her, and I will tell her what she has done wrong if I can remember. If she has been better than usual I will praise her and tell her. I have never said to her she has been a perfect little girl who has done nothing wrong all day, If I say that to her then I am a liar and I will be doing her more harm than good. I do not believe in teaching children self esteem or that they should feel good about themselves, because they should not.

I feel sorry for this kid. I’m inclined to think that one of the best lessons parents can give their children is the value of self-confidence. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with having pride in one’s accomplishments and skills. It doesn’t mean you have to be an arrogant braggart about it or anything, but it’s good to know what you’re capable of. There shouldn’t be anything wrong with saying “I know how to do that” when you mean it. Kids need to feel confident, but to have that they have to be filled with real self-assurance and awareness of their strengths and abilities. None of this passing them when they ought to have failed garbage. That doesn’t do them any favours in the long run. Inflated worth will burst eventually.

So back to this maniac mother.

everyday she finds that she is doing things that are wrong … So we have a problem, and this is an everyday battle. The problem is sin. I never taught my daughter to sin. This is because she, and as well as the rest of the human race have inherited a sinful nature from Adam. From the moment we are conceived we are sinners, Pslam 57:5. We are born with a desire to sin. We are all born God hating and evil.

Le Sigh. There’s the crux of the problem. The kid will never win. Already she’s been judged to be worthless and evil in the eyes of her very own mum. There’s no hope for her unless neighbours find her bloodied, bruised and tied to a table eating scraps a dog would turn its nose away from.

We’re born with a desire to breathe in and out and get food in our bellies. I don’t know why otherwise sensible women (assuming this mother is) believe the fucked up story of original sin and treat their offspring like rotten fruit of their loins. It mystifies me. In this day and age, why women are willing to believe that fucknuttery and pass it onto their children.

She’s all tickled because her daughter’s now claiming that only Jesus can show her the way to true goodness.

I have never told her this. I would have thought this is too deep for a four year old to understand. That she was a sinner, she could not control her sinful nature. She wanted to be good but she could not, instead she did things that where wrong no matter how she tried to be good. Her theology is far deeper than that of many preachers today. I mean she gets it. It is only by the finished work of Christ on the cross that we can be delivered from sin.

So the fact that the kid has probably heard mother utter something like that has nothing to do with it. It’s not theology, lady, it’s imitation. It’s your daughter trying to manipulate the situation so you find something in her to be proud of. She’s copying you because she’s figured out that those are the words you want to hear.

I was so amazed by God’s power that I wanted to cry. I have never shared this with her, so how did she know? It can only be the work of the Holy Spirit. For a little girl to know that she can not be good on her own, that there is only one who can help her, that is Jesus is beyond my comprehension.

No doubt child psychology is beyond her comprehension as well. Kids see a lot more than people think. They catch a lot more than people think they’re hearing. I find it unlikely that this woman has never mentioned how Jesus goes about saving people from themselves. Maybe she’s never directly said it to her kid but the kid still got the idea from her, not anywhere mystical.

I am not saying she got saved, she is only four. But one thing I know God is definitely working in my little girl’s life. It encouraged me to pray for her even more. She is a wretched little girl, who knows she is a wretched sinner who needs only a good saviour to help her. Glory belongs to God!

A wretched little girl. Yes, she probably is, what with having a mother like that and all. Why is this not under the umbrella of child abuse? This kid is getting mentally ruined. It’s verbal abuse, plain and simple. It must make the child feel little and dirty and wretched. No kid should have to live in that kind of atmosphere. And it’s just going to get worse as she ages, I think. Commenters at Possommamma mentioned the similarities to Carrie.

At least that was fiction.

About 1minionsopinion

Canadian Atheist Basically ordinary Library employee Avid book lover Ditto for movies Wanna-be writer Procrastinator
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