Watched “My Life as a Dog” last night

Also known as Mitt liv som hund in the original Swedish, it was filmed in 1985, but takes place in 1959. It’s about a young boy named Ingemar who goes to live with his uncle in some strange little Swedish village when his mother gets ill. Ingemar can’t take his dog with him but the neighbour (or doctor?) arranging his trip tells him they’ll “kennel” it. Yeah right.

Ingemar loves his dog at least as much as he loves his mother but feels the lack of the dog’s company a lot more than he misses his mum. We aren’t treated to many scenes where the two of them are happy together. We do see one beach scene about seven or eight times though, as it’s the only real happy memory he has of her laughing. His attempts to connect with her at other times in the picture are pretty sad because she’s frail, off her rocker, and more likely to be reading or screaming than paying attention to what he has to say.

I think it’s fair to say the story is not about a boy’s life, but life through a boy’s eyes. We see Ingemar’s cute forays into sexuality without anything becoming awkward or trite. There are some hilarious scenes of him reading lingerie descriptions to an elderly house renter, among other things. We see him making friends and coming to grips with a strange situation and even stranger neighbours. He learns to box, bonds with his uncle (while endlessly listening to a Swedish version of “I’ve got a lovely bunch of coconuts” — had I been Uncle’s wife, I would have snapped it by day three) and becomes a young tomboy’s confidant and probably her first serious attraction.

As to what the title means, I think I figured it out. There are a few instances where Ingemar pretends to be a dog, but I think the title has more to do with Ingemar’s feelings of abandonment and fears of being unwanted, like his own dog turns out to be. In his flashback narrations he mentions Laika a lot, often wondering how she felt about being wired up and launched into space, and how the scientists might have felt about the one way trip.

Documents were released in 2002 that finally revealed the results of the Sputnik 2 experiment. Turns out that Laika only survived a few hours up there due to stress and intense heat. They figure an equipment malfunction had something to do with it but the whole thing burned up during reentry some months later, thus rendering the debate moot.

Laika was an abandoned mutt that gained a family, albeit briefly. No doubt Ingemar realizes by the end of the film that he has gained one, too.

It’s a sweet little movie. I was actually sad to see it end. That doesn’t happen with movies very often. The only others I can think of where that’s happened to me would be Return of the King and High Fidelity.

Super Scary Saturday (One Minion’s Frankenstein fix)

I was hoping to invite some strange creature to join my movie-watching exploits tonight but how could I have known I’d find the perfect way to round out this Cheezy Drive-In Movie series? I overheard this monster head mumbling to itself on a store shelf. Intrigued, I purchased it immediately. But what is it saying?

Drrrrurr*
Durrrrurrrr.**
Drrrurrrrrer. Durrurrereerrr…***

Super Scary Saturday (One Minion seeks a She Freak)

“I’m not a freak. Shinigami cannot be judged by human standards of attractiveness. Still, Minion thought this photo of me was very dark and freakish looking, and a perfect start to the next movie. I don’t really care. I’ve already lost the map to my new box of chocolates and have no idea which ones hide the coconut. It turns out I really hate coconut and without the map, I have to bite each and every piece…”

Super Scary Saturday (One Minion meets Lisa and the Devil)

I’m the Devil! I’m the Devil! Just kidding!

It’s only Minion and her markers making me look like the Devil!

Minion is a silly sort, isn’t she? I hope her strange sense of humour hasn’t put you off.

Anyway, Minion thought this would be a great way to introduce tonight’s movie, Lisa and the Devil.

Friday Night Frights (One Minion finds a Headless Ghost)

I’m a headless ghost! I’m a headless ghost!

No, no! I’m just teasing! You don’t have to run away! No! Come back! Minion was only playing with her photo program…

Oh dear, I feel so ashamed! What a silly idea this was! I’ve scared away every one of Minion’s readers! Oh dear! Now what are we going to do? This is terrible! So terrible! Oh, it’s a disaster!

What’s that you say? You’re still here? I don’t believe it! I didn’t scare you away? What a relief! You’re a bold one to check this blog tonight, though. Haven’t you noticed Minion is running a super scary weekend special this month to honour all that’s scary and fun? The past couple weekends were all about crazy killers and magic spells. I hope you like spooky movies because Minion is about to watch The Headless Ghost!

Started watching True Blood season 1

And so far I like it – but not because of Sookie and Bill. No, it’s the rest of the regulars that are making it enjoyable. Tara’s awesome, Sam is sweet, and Jason’s hilarious.

Why did they pick Anna Paquin to play a Southern waitress? Are there no good actresses from Louisiana and area that could have taken on the role? I just don’t get how they pick casts sometimes. But whatever.

I wonder how close they’re going to follow the books by Charlaine Harris. It’s been a while since I read that series.

K, that’s it for a bit. I think I’m going to dare to bundle up and take pictures of our stupid early snow now. Thank you Old Man Winter. If I could find your ass, I would kick it…

Friday Night Frights (One Minion bathes in Baron Blood!)

“I don’t know what to think of this project Minion’s taken on. Is she in need mental aid?” the Stegosaurus wondered. “After last week’s crazy Aussie innkeeper killers, I think I’d rather be deaf than listen to more ham acting. No offense.”

“None could possibly be taken,” Cow replied, feeling pained. “Ham comes from pigs.”

Minion always came home from work with several DVDs and Cow was tired of hearing Stegosaurus grumble about the quality of them. She didn’t like Minion’s taste in entertainment either, but it did no good to complain. And besides, what could they do about it anyway? They were squeaky toys Minion picked up at a Dollar store for goodness’ sake.

“So, what is it this time?” asked Stegasaurus.

“Why do you even ask me?” Cow replied, testily. “You know I can’t read.”

“Yeah, yeah, sorry,” Stegosaurus said without a hint of sincerity. “You know what I meant. It was a retro oracle question.”

Cow thought about that for a moment, then rolled her eyes. “You mean rhetorical.”

“I mean whatever. What are we in for?”

“I think I remember Minion saying it was a movie about a crazy Austrian castle killer this time,” Cow supplied.

“More Aussie crap?”

Cow let out an exasperated sigh. “Austria and Australia are two different places.”

“You sure?”

“Positive. Now, would you shut up? Minion’s ready to start watching Baron Blood.”

“I don’t like the sound of that,” Stegosaurus whispered.

Looks like everyone’s after the Apocalypse dollar

and forgetting that money will be worth squat after that happens anyway…

So, I saw Zombieland today. Don’t worry, I won’t spill any of the intentionally ridiculous guts of the show if anyone’s trying to go into it not knowing what to expect. That was my desire and I think had a funnier experience than I would have knowing what was in there beyond the trailer. I’ll just mention stuff about the main actors really quick, and then get to the meat (har) of my post.

I think Woody Harrelson was channeling his Natural Born Killers days. There was an aura of Mickey around that Tallahassee character in a big way. Jesse Eisenberg, who recently did Adventureland (a movie I think deserves far more notice), plays Columbus and has that awkward likability going for him, much the same as John Cusack used to be good at in his younger days. I thought the girls seemed more like plot devices than fleshed out characters, unfortunately. The movie got a little blah if it was only them on screen. Fortunately there weren’t many scenes like that. Most of the time they were paired up with the boys and came to life within the ensemble.

And that’s all I’ll say about that movie. Now, about the trailers I watched before it. Of the ones I remember, three of them had to do with end of the world type stuff. Doesn’t that seem like a lot?

There was Legion, which I think I’ll wind up seeing, just because it’s angels gone to hell and it looks really cool. I love those hard core good against evil shows, especially when the evil is so horrifyingly evil. Of course, the good guys always win those ones, so it gets to be a bit of a drag. It’s better when things are a little bit grey, you know? Not so cut and dried. Dennis Quaid and Paul Bettany star. Bettany is an archangel apparently sent down to protect the unborn child of some waitress. Second coming shit, I suppose. Whatever. There’s funky demons. I’m in line. Bring it.

There was one for Cormac McCarthy’s The Road starring (among other big names) the ever nummy Viggo Mortensen and the ever gorgeous Charlize Theron in a cold dark future in dire need of moral standards. Whatever cataclysmic event leads them to head south, it seems it’s also brought out the worst in people. It looked gritty and dramatic and I’m starting to think I should be reading that man’s books.

The other one, which I’ve left to last for a reason, was the trailer for 2012, starring the once great John Cusack in what looks like the crappiest bit of film-flam since The Day After Tomorrow, which starred Dennis Quaid and was directed by 2012’s director, Roland Emmerich. Maybe I should rethink Legion? Or should Roland take all the blame? This is not the same trailer I saw today, but watch for the little plane. It’s in here:

Would a pilot really fly so low as to risk being hit by cars and trains falling off broken overpasses? Or even low enough to risk being crushed by a tipping high rise? Would not a pilot with any lick of sense crank that steering thing into his crotch and get some fucking altitude?

So it’s got a “deep impact” theme like Deep Impact pounded into viewers back in 1998. I think it’s safe to say this stuff’s been done and it’s now overdone. I’m almost hoping 2012 does kick off an armageddon, if it means never having to see another Armageddon type movie come to screens again.

Super Scary Saturday (One Minion in the Inn of the Damned!)

What are the chances? she thought to herself. Here I am at the library returning that Christopher Lee movie, and now I find another case exactly like the one I just had. How disturbing.

She lingered a ways from the movie racks, begging a god she didn’t believe in to find some reason for that unshaven and pungently aromatic patron perusing the shelves to shift his kiester, and hopefully in the direction of the doors. She could hold her breath a long time but still, why risk melting ear wax if you don’t have to?

But no matter; if there was a patron saint of the library, he or she heard the call, and sent the young man shuffling away from the films and into the adult graphic novel section. No doubt he’d find a quiet spot somewhere to … well, why else would someone draw cartoon boobs so large, Minion wondered.

She waited a few more moments for the odor to dissipate and then hurried toward the case marked DVD INNO.

Not for INNOcent, no. This movie is all about the Damned….at the Inn of the Damned!

Film studios seek quality films… like, duh!

Christian filmmakers have apparently realized that gee, people don’t just want a Jesus movie; they want to see a good Jesus movie. Even more weird, it doesn’t even have to use the word Jesus in the title! And even stranger than that, doesn’t even need a “Christian” label at all, so long as it fits the particular assumptions Christian viewers would have about people.

I’m not saying this is a bad thing. Atheist though I might be, I get more than a little sick of the trash being offered up as entertainment these days. Torture porn is not my idea of a fun time at the flicks. If a movie looks like something I’d enjoy, I’ll watch it, even if a Christian message is blatantly obvious. But it’s nice to know some directors are trying not to be.

Director Brian Baugh’s upcoming teen film “To Save a Life” may be many things, but one thing it’s not, he says, is a “Christian” movie.

The upcoming film about a star basketball player who copes with a friend’s death is edgier than others—with violence, marijuana and a brief sex scene. Conservative friends who’ve screened the movie worry it doesn’t have enough faith in it, while others think it may have a bit too much.

“That’s what makes it fun,” said Baugh, a film photography director whose new movie will be distributed by Samuel Goldwyn Films. “Can we walk that line? It’s a great challenge.”

Five years after the stunning box-office results of Mel Gibson’s “The Passion of the Christ,” Christian filmmakers are trying to develop higher quality movies that will attract a faith-based audience without alienating nonchurchgoers.

It’s worth a shot. A well written, well acted and well directed picture will engage the audience, no matter their credo. A lot of movies are made with a message in mind already and the better ones manage to carry that message with weight and heart yet avoid beating the audience into submission with it.

A small but growing movement is trying to change that image, highlighted most recently by “Fireproof,” a movie about a firefighter struggling to save his marriage, and produced by a Southern Baptist church in Georgia, that ended up the No. 1 independent movie of 2008.

You can’t really count that result like you can with other films:

Fireproof is obviously critic-proof; though it hit theaters sans reviewer screenings, it had been heavily screened for pastors, who bought group tickets for their congregations, ensuring plenty of sold-out opening-weekend showings. Can hundreds of thousands of multiplex-invading Promise Keepers be wrong?

That’s cheating is what that is. If the movie is really worth seeing then people will get their own tickets and spend the money happily. And they’ll certainly tell their friends if the money was well spent. Critic-proof, that movie wasn’t:

Basically, the problem with Cameron and Bethea’s marriage is that he’s pissed off because his wife actually expects something from him, like extending a little kindness to her or washing a dish every once in awhile. He’s like a gardener who never supplies a drop of water to a plant, then rages petulantly when the plant wilts. And when Cameron gets in a rage, out comes the baseball bat.

Fireproof gets hung up in a lot of Promise Keepers hoo-hah about reaffirming marriage as a covenant with God rather than a contract filed at City Hall, but that’s just a cover for two fundamental points about the movie: Cameron acts like a childish jerk, even in the reconciliation phase, and the underlying reason is that he—and the movie—hates women.

I can’t agree or disagree with that as I haven’t seen it. I’ve just bolded the bit I liked best. heh. Who doesn’t know people like that?

But back to RNS:

“The profitability of a film like `Fireproof’ will inspire a spate of imitators,” said Detweiler. “What I’d rather see is a wave of originators who have such a level of artistry, craft and originality that audiences and critics stand up and take notice.”

Yes, that’s a point. Plus, a movie ought to stand on its own, not on its message. In order to do that, these filmmakers have to make films with wide appeal. They literally can’t afford to alienate entire classes of ticket buyers. If they want the big box office bucks, they have to be willing to risk a few bucks of their own, as well. Not every unknown volunteer will turn out to be an acting genius. If the cast can’t act their way out of their own shoes, how can that be called a quality picture?

The Kendricks’ movies are apprentice efforts, and there’s nothing wrong with that—all great artists and craftsmen go through an apprentice stage. But for an apprentice to graduate into true mastery, someone must give him honest feedback, and it appears no one in the evangelical community is willing to do that. Some of the most prominent movie reviewers in the Christian world acknowledged the film’s shortcomings but said—inexplicably—that they didn’t matter. Among rank-and-file Christians, any criticism of the movie is met with vitriol, such as the hate I was met with on an online discussion group. You would have thought I had nominated Osama bin Laden for the Nobel Peace Prize.

Make movies. Make message movies. But by all that is great and holy and worthy of salty greasy buckets of banged grains, make great movies!

Build them! And they will come!