Jesus watches you pee outside and judges you

I’ve been waiting for another case of pareidolia and, by no surprise, the Daily Mail delivers Jesus appearing in the grit and crumble on the side of a take-away Chinese restaurant.

Mr Ridley, 39, immediately took a photograph of the bizarre sight outside the Mayho Chinese Takeaway.

He said: ‘We were a little drunk at the time and went to get something to eat.

‘We were waiting for our meal outside when we saw it.

‘It was Jesus looking right at us, we were shocked and couldn’t believe it. ‘It’s a miracle!

‘The best thing about it is the face is actually facing the direction of St Luke’s Church so it looks like it is supposed to be there.

‘Since I took the picture, we have shown it to loads of people and all of them can see it instantly.

‘It is amazing and they can’t believe it.’

I wonder if they tell their friends they’re looking at Jesus, or if their friends come to that (silly) conclusion without prompting. People always seem willing to believe it’s Jesus.

Side note, I was listening to a Skeptics Guide podcast a while back that mentioned something called audio paredolia. Quoting what Steven Novella wrote about it later:

Skeptics love talking about pareidolia, whether visual or audio, because it is right in the sweet spot of the skeptical skill set – understanding why people often come to dubious and even bizarre conclusions because they fail to understand the nature of the human mind. It’s also fun and easily demonstrated, and so it makes an excellent skeptical lesson – your brain can be fooled, you can be fooled, and in order to properly interpret this one needs only to understand a little bit about how our brains work. Our brain actively process sensory input, making many assmptions, and forcing fits to recognized patterns. Our brains do not give a truly objective and accurate representation of the world. It give a human one – full of pattern recognition – sometimes real, sometimes forced.

Also in there is a link to a video of a group of singers performing a gospel tune of some kind. The subtitles provided don’t match what they actually say, but what it could sound like they’re saying. What it sounds like they’re saying is nothing you’d expect…

Old news — well, not news, but Jesus on a sock at least

Or rather, wrinkles on a sock that the owner thought resembled Jesus. Obviously the media had to be told all about it, with a picture to prove it’s a miracle vision.

From the Daily Mail article:

It is reminiscent of one of Christianity’s most significant relics.

But unlike the Turin shroud, this image of Jesus’ face was found on a sock among items of laundry in Kent.

And it’s a wrinkle easily shaken out, not an image painted on a piece of cloth by hucksters aiming to fleece a populace.

Sarah Crane, from Orpington, was stunned when she hung her laundry out to dry and discovered the face of Jesus staring back at her from a crumpled sock.

Miss Crane was so impressed by the clarity of the face she even built a shrine to the sock.

No offense, Miss Crane, but really? I hope that’s a bit of a joke and you’re merely pretending this is actually an important discovery. I can’t tell if the other picture presented in the article is a reenactment of her reaction to the “miracle”, or if she truly marvels over the way the fabric crinkled when it was hung to dry.

“I immediately took some pictures to show our family and friends – they all thought it was hilarious.

‘We think it’s a bit of a sign – but for what we don’t know.’

It’s a bit of a sign all right, a sign of a person desperate for a bit of media attention. No wonder she contacted the Daily Mail. I get the impression they’ll print anything, no matter how daft.

Miss Crane said she began making a shrine to the sock, but when she moved it, some of its delicate creases fell away and the image is now not as clear.

‘But you can still just about make out his face,’ she said.

Never occurred to her to buy some spray starch first, I guess. That would have set the fabric long enough for her to get it framed in a shadowbox…

‘Unfortunately, it’s not quite good enough to donate to our local church, but our friends have all been round to see it.’

Again I say, I really hope she’s joking about that. This is fun to make fun of, but I know there are people who take these kinds of “signs” seriously and if she’s not careful, she’ll wind up with pareidolia-believing tourists invading her yard, intent on getting a glimpse of the new fabric Jesus. Wouldn’t they be disappointed over such a ruse?

Without Jesus, who would people think they see in trees and breakfast foods?

I never seem to have to wait long for another example of pareidolia making headlines. This time around, the Daily Mail (among others) has reprints of an American tourist’s photo of the cliffs of Moher and if you stare at the picture just right, a face does appear to be looking out at the camera. It’s Jesus’ face, of course. And to make sure you see what Sandra Clifford saw, they provide you with the image of a painting of Jesus as he probably didn’t look in real life anyway.

The 42-year-old pilot from San Francisco couldn’t believe her eyes when she spotted an imprint of as she visited the famous County Clare tourist attraction.

She told Irish Central: ‘To me it was Jesus Christ straight away.

‘I am a pilot, so I am always skeptical of what I see, that is why I started grabbing people and asking them what they saw

Breaking in to note how completely opposite of skepticism Ms Clifford’s reaction to the rock formation was. Instead of, “hey, that kind of looks like a face. I should take a picture of that. It’s cool.” She immediately convinces herself it’s Christ she’s gotten a special look-at and can’t wait to tell the world about it.

It had been raining prior to the sighting and the pilot said it had been ‘a day of rainbows.’

And as everybody knows, at least everyone who thinks like this woman thinks (and atheist bloggers who do a bit of Googling), rainbows are considered visible proof of God’s mercy. It comes from the story of Noah and the ark and God rewarding the passengers with a rainbow after He killed every other living thing on earth by drowning them. The rainbow is supposed to symbolize God’s promise never to do it again, no matter how riddled with sin humans might be. Every rainbow is supposed to be interpreted as God reminding the world of his power and his grace.

And Ms Clifford is not alone in thinking her sighting is completely genuine.

Later that evening Ms Clifford, who was holidaying with her friend Fiona Fay, went to Gus O’Connors Pub in Doolin, where locals whole hardheartedly agreed with their diagnosis.

Teresa O’Flaherty, who owns the bar with her husband Patric, told IrishCentral that they couldn’t believe their eyes when they saw the snap.

‘I was like, wow, I actually thought it was a picture of a picture, I was shocked,” she said.

‘It’s very definitely an image of Christ,” she said.

Ms Clifford maintains the images are 100 percent legitimate and points out the original photograph are still in the camera, which she passed around in the Co. Clare pub that evening.

This is a case of skepticism and sense going the way of the dodo. I don’t know why these are the conclusions people want to jump to all the time. What does it say about their mental state? I don’t mean they’re nuts or anything, I just wonder why they think they see what they see. Why didn’t she see a troll in the cliff face? That’s what it reminded me of and I didn’t even have a troll folklore upbringing. I did see Return to Oz, though, so it also reminds me of the Nome King who wanted to steal Dorothy’s ruby slippers.

So I suppose that’s my answer. People see what they see because they’re building it out of past experiences. They see Jesus because they’ve been inundated with imagery of Jesus from a very young age and it’s become automatic for them to holler, “It’s Jesus!” as soon as they see anything that remotely resembles their remembered idea of what Jesus looks like.

It reminds me of something…forget when it would have been, but I’m assuming university. I was shown a picture that was just black and white but the shape of both on the page made it resemble something very “familiar” and I blurted the exact same thing, even though I’d never been anything remotely like a true believer. The person showing me the picture said something like, “Are you sure?” and I remember taking a mental step back and changing my answer. “Sorry, right, it just looks a bit like a man with a beard.” I don’t think I really thought of the image as an image of Christ, but no one’s truly immune from cultural conditioning. A few years of Catholic school + a few relatives with bible inspired art on the wall + a random face with a beard = Jesus Christ. Sad, really.

It was kind of eye opening for me, though, how quick a person can make an assumption based on fuck-all for evidence. That’s probably why I like finding these stories and writing about them. I think more people need to have the same kind of eye-opening/mental step back that I had.

Jesus sightings piling up

This time he’s on a dock piling in Florida:

They were drinking morning coffee poolside a few days after installing the set in early August, when they noticed a face on one of the pilings. It was the first of two that have appeared. It looked like a man, a wolf, or a lion, depending on which friend or neighbor stopped by their house in Jensen Beach.

“Everyone saw something different,” said Pat Wolfe, 58. “Some couldn’t see it at all, but there were very few.”

Then this weekend the image changed. Now it looks like, well, Jesus.

“I hesitate to say that, because everybody says that,” Wolfe said. “Not everyone agrees with me, but some do.”

She’s a down-to-earth lady who finds the change in her yard decoration “curious.” She was raised Catholic and now attends a Unitarian church. She sure doesn’t want anyone lining up at her door to visit the piling to see the face.

But by all means, tell the media. It’s not like there’s any real news that needs reporting…

It’s drafty in here – a couple old ideas resurface

While I wasn’t in the mood to blog I was still reading articles and saving them with the intention of writing something on the topic at some point. I’d come across this one about vines on a power pole and people’s reactions to its iconic resemblance to You Know Who (and I don’t mean Voldemort).

Kent Hardison, who runs Ma’s Hotdog House less than a half mile from the pareidolia, rides by the Christ-resembling post each day. He said when he first saw the kudzu growing he almost sprayed it with herbicide.

“I glanced at it, and it looks like Jesus,” Hardison said. “I thought, ‘You can’t spray Jesus with Roundup.’ ”

It always amuses me when people say they think they’ve seen an image of Jesus. Aside from how artists have chosen to depict the man (on a cross or otherwise), we’ve got nothing from his day painted from life. Nothing. It’s pointless to point to something occurring by chance and say it must be Jesus-inspired. It’s always merely the result of someone’s imagination. And humans rarely have too little of that.

In South Carolina more recently comes a story of a couple claiming Jesus appeared on their Walmart receipt. The resulting stains on the paper do tend to make a face-like pattern but why does Jesus have to be the go-to guy every time this sort of thing gets noticed? I think it looks more like an artist’s interpretation of a neanderthal, myself.

The other thing I ran across is from 2009 and a minister in Tennessee who got it in his head to build an enormous treehouse. Why?

Burgess says he started working on this giant treehouse after he had a vision back in 1993. God spoke to him and said: “If you build me a treehouse, I’ll see you never run out of material.” And so he spent the next 14 years building God’s treehouse, using only salvaged materials, like pieces of lumber from garages, storage sheds and barns. So, as far as Horace is concerned, God did provide him with all the materials he needed.

It’s quite impressive, actually. At the time the article was written it was popular with tourists. Judging by recent comments on site, it still is.

Jealous of pizza tray jesus, other family claims he’s really in a tree

I make that up. Oh, not the pizza tray part, or the tree part. Just the jealous part. I doubt they announced their “discovery” just because the bar guy is getting lots of attention right now. (Even I wound up writing about him.) I think they just wanted some attention, too, and the media is enabling them.

So anyway, this tree in McLean, Virginia. The Nortons had a limb removed from a tree in their yard weeks ago and as the wound dried, it created a pattern reminiscent of a faded Victorian portrait.

“I noticed the hair and then the beard and then it came together,” said Bella Norton, 12 Years Old.

“I think that is Jesus,” said Lamya Norton, mom.

Because everyone knows images of hair and beards can only be images of Jesus. Like no one else in history ever had hair and a beard…

I think they’ve been sitting on this “news” until they could spring it on a receptive audience, and what better time than Lent, eh?

She said her husband noticed it first weeks ago. She didn’t want to believe it, but on Ash Wednesday, she looked out her dining room window and saw it clear as day.

“It was a little emotional for me,” Lamya said.

Lamya’s mother, Marion Alany, used to own the house before selling it to her daughter. Alany said the tree has always been there, and now she believes Jesus has too.

“I had breast cancer,” said Alany. “But everything is fine and I’m doing well… There are bigger things in life, and just to go with the flow.”

Leading the overly gullible to think maybe Tree Jesus cured her cancer? Don’t think that won’t occur to some of them. Lamya certainly seems willing to make that bizarre connection:

Lamya is now sharing her discovery with her six children.

“It’s a sign that we’re all safe and it’s, everybody is loved in our family,” said Bella.

It’s a sign that people will see what they want to see. Nothing more.

Bless this pizza, Mary, Jesus…

You can’t set your watch by them, but stories about seeing religious figures in ordinary things is such a regular occurrence in the field of journalism, I guess they can’t not report on them.

Josh Mather, of Mansfield, couldn’t believe his eyes.

Me neither. Looking at the image provided with the article, it’s clear he’s completely mistaken and this is a sign that George Lucas really wants us to believe in Jawas. What kind of religion did they have? Sign me up! May the force…

Mather is pre-socialized to see religious iconography instead of homages to film, I guess. I saw Gandalf giving the ring to Frodo on a slice of French Toast once, too. I took a picture of it and then I ate it.

Anyway, back to what passes for news in this world:

He closed his bar in Plainville and was sifting through his equipment when he made this discovery. He says he found an image of Jesus and Mary on a diffuser for the pizza oven.

I’m surprised they didn’t throw the name of his bar in here as well. Unless Plainville is so small he has the only one in town?

Josh has walked by that oven for years and says he just happened to notice the image today: Ash Wednesday.

Josh says believe it or not the counter of his bar was actually made out of church pews and today is the first time he’s been to church in 20 years.

Yes, sure. Is he trying to imply that remains of church pews would make the place holy enough for the finger of God to come down personally to trace some imagery in a grease stain? Just noticed this.. in time to make headlines on Ash Wednesday, the first day of Lent. Mentioning it on Fat Tuesday just wouldn’t have had the same effect, eh?

If Jesus is going to lay around in a field…

it better just be his lunch break, dammit!

The Sun (UK, not our silly Saskatoon weekend rag) is reporting an odd find via Google Earth – a field that looks like it might be the face of Jesus.

The bearded messiah can be seen clearly in satellite pictures of a field on farmland near Puspokladany, Hungary.

Sales assistant Zach, of Southampton, said: “I’m not a religious person looking for images of Mary or Jesus in everything, but this is obvious.”

What’s really obvious is you wanting your name in the paper, man. Let’s all keep in mind, shall we, that any pictures we have of Jesus were not painted from life.

This is not to say it isn’t deliberately designed by the field owner, though. Have a look at these photos of rice fields in Japan. Beautiful is the word to describe them. I can’t imagine the amount of effort that must go into planning such a thing, considering it’s not made to last.

Demons in a pear can? Appearantly so…

Sorry, couldn’t resist that one. Anywhoo, the story:

Southland woman Wendy McMahon reckons she will never look at canned pears the same way.

The latest can she opened contained a demonic face carved into one of its contents.

However, Mrs McMahon said the shock of the find is nothing compared with the trial she has had trying to get answers out of the pears’ supplier.

She bought the Budget brand can of pears from Invercargill Pak’N Save a fortnight ago and feeling “a bit peckish”, she opened it, late on May 1.

She said it was when she returned to the can for a second helping that she scooped the freakish piece of fruit out.

“I thought `oh my God, is that a face’… it really kind of shocked me.”

She found a number for the canning company on the wrapper and decided to give them what-for. A series of stupid phone calls later, it became clear this woman was nuts. But since the story is from her POV, we have to read about how irate she feels because the company both mocked and annoyed her, claiming the whole reason for her freakout was to make a bit of cash.

Forwarding the photos to the woman made her change her tune.

On Thursday she received a letter and a $15 voucher.

Mrs McMahon said because no-one had phoned her back, she called the woman, who assured her the “technical adviser” would call her after lunch.

The woman then phoned, demanding the pear and its can be sent to Auckland so its manufacturer Heinz-Wattie’s could investigate, Mrs McMahon said.

She sent the pear, along with the voucher, by courier the same day and pulled the Trade Me listing.

On Friday, the woman phoned again, read her a letter that conceded that during production the pear halves were checked by people at the Chinese plant as a quality control measure and offered her a $30 voucher, Mrs McMahon said. “I said that wasn’t good enough, then she turned on me and got nasty again – she said `you’re just after money aren’t you?’ – I asked her to send the pear back.”

Last night she was still waiting, but said rather than the satanic slice of fruit, it is her treatment by the company she takes exception to.

It would have been easier to just take a picture of the zany thing and then eat it.

But that doesn’t generate media attention at all, does it?

I once kept a cookie crumb because it looked like a butterfly

I think I also had a piece of popcorn that resembled a rabbit once. I knew it was weird to do so, but I likely kept it around until it disintegrated. I guess that’s part of why I like finding other stories of pareidolia, like the recent announcement in the Telegraph about a chewing gum Jesus. And so close to Easter, too. Now that would be a miracle that would make me believe…

that people are never going to wise up, actually.

Nelly Noden had been chewing her gum on Good Friday but left it on the mantelpiece while she ate some crisps.

When she returned, she claimed the gum had turned into an image that resembled Christ.

“The second I put my eye on it, I could see him”, said the mother-of-two.

“I’d just got back from going the shops to buy a few things to eat when, as usual, I put my gum on the mantelpiece to have some crisps”, she said.

“I went to pick it up again and Jesus was just there, starring at me.

“We couldnt believe it especially as it was Good Friday”, she said.

Daughter Charni, 16, said: “We cant believe how much it looks like Jesus; weve been telling everyone about it.”

I’d insert an eww in the middle of this for the saving gum on a mantelpiece, but I tend to keep mine on a coaster on my desk if I’m chewing something else, so who am I to judge about that.

Mrs Noden, from Plymouth, Devon, said: “My daughters and I were jumping around the room.”

The family say they are not religious, but thought it was special that it happened at Easter time, and also on the day before Nelly’s birthday.

She said: “It was a real moment.”

The Nodens say they have kept the piece of gum as a memento.

I can’t see it, myself. I guess a human-like face could peek out of that bit of gum but it could just as easily be Abraham Lincoln.

Except you can’t get a newspaper article if you think Lincoln’s in your gum…