Why conclude the obvious when you can blame time traveling birds?

It’s been just over a month since I wrote about the attack of the clever raven, but now via Brother Richard I discover a bird may have caused a malfunction in the Hadron Collider recently.

While it’s humbling enough for most researchers to remember that one little bird can threaten millions of dollars worth of equipment, others are not so sure it’s a random accident. Time Magazine reports that a bird’s dropped dinner overheated some of the mechanisms, but rather than blame gravity, a couple physicists are actually claiming the bird may have been sent back in time for a mission it may or may not have completed.

Seriously.

two esteemed physicists have formulated a theory that suggests an alternative explanation: perhaps a time-traveling bird was sent from the future to sabotage the experiment. Bech Nielsen of the Niels Bohr Institute in Copenhagen and Masao Ninomiya of the Yukawa Institute for Theoretical Physics in Kyoto, Japan, have published several papers over the past year arguing that the CERN experiment may be the latest in a series of physics research projects whose purposes are so unacceptable to the universe that they are doomed to fail, subverted by the future.

Never mind the paradox problems inherent in that…yeesh.

You’re so vain, I bet you think this plate’s all about you…

Sorry. I don’t even like that song. However, it was all I could think of to lead into results of an attempt to bring Christian vanity plates to cars in South Carolina. Similar stories have been in the news before, but now the Daily Telegraph reports on the pro-choice judge who said the one word they never wanted to hear: NO!

The southern state’s legislature had already approved the licence plate, but Cameron Currie, the district judge, said the plate was unconstitutional because it violated the First Amendment, which requires the separation of church and state.

“Such a law amounts to a state endorsement not only of religion in general, but of a specific sect in particular,” Ms Currie wrote.

Well done, Judge Currie, for coming down the side of equality here instead of preferential treatment.

“Whether motivated by sincerely-held Christian beliefs or an effort to purchase political capital with religious coin, the result is the same.

“The statute is clearly unconstitutional and defence of its implementation has embroiled the state in unnecessary (and expensive) litigation.”

Via Friendly Atheist, I get a link to more information showing just how petty and egotistical this plate war is.

some legislators openly admitted that they would not vote for similar plates for minority faiths.

Nobody would be forced to buy them; vanity plates are entirely optional. Generally I think they’re pretty stupid, but whatever. If your whole identity is tied up in how strangers see your car, you’ve got bigger problems than what your license plate says.

(If you think that’s bad…)

The “real” origins of Halloween

I nick this from a commenter called “Tis Himself” at Pharyngula:

No! No! No! Let me explain the origin of Halloween:

During colonial times, in Boston, Massachusetts, there was an itinerant hot dog salesman named Horatio. He was much beloved because of his habit of wandering the town dressed in outlandish clothing and giving out free samples to all the boys and girls. One October 31st, there was a terrific storm — a true nor’easter. Horatio went into the nor’easter without his sou’wester, and so he got swept out to sea.

All the Boston children were saddened by this, so to cheer them up, the town council instituted a holiday in which costumed children went door-to-door collecting hot dogs. However, since the town frankfurter salesman was now dead, the hot dog supply was unreliable. So it was decided to give out candy instead. This holiday was called after Horatio’s call when he was selling his hot dogs: “Hallo! Weenies!”

Nice one.

What I did today

This morning I sat in on a session about our new library set up. While waiting for the computer and projector to get hooked up, and not done right, and redone, and plugged in somewhere else and tried again, I had lots of time to doodle. I’m not an artist, as you can see, but I thought I’d share the results of my “skill” anyway.

Doodle dragon goes shopping for cats.

Doodle sheep hop the fence to freedom.

Doodle gophers mock my aim.

Doodle metro gnome and other critters.

Oh Thesere, God of Bedding and House Plants

Rid me of my gnat problem, and I promise I will always make my bed…

Find a relevant Greek God here.

(H/T to Vizhnet)

Quotable Shoebox rejects

I’m glad I found Shoeboxblog. It’s totally delightful. It’s the comics that first drew me in. Some blogger I’d found (now forgotten) had a zombie nativity pic in a post that linked back to that site but it has more than snarky cartoons. It also has an area set aside for greeting card messages that never made the cut:

—
I actually went to school with a guy named Jesus.
So I try not to ask myself, “What Would Jesus Do?”
because man, that guy was thick.

—
I like you!

You smell like soap from a really good hotel!

—
You’re 21! There’s nothing holding you back now!

Except prison.

—
You’re quirky in the cute ‘n’ fun way.
Not in the “Where’d all the small animals go?” way.
Happy Birthday!

—
I picked out the perfect Christmas gift for you!

All you have to do is go to Amazon.com and click “buy”.

—

I guess there is more to the art of greeting card writing than coming up with something vaguely amusing and sending it in. As one who never knows what to write in a card, though, I think what they should be selling are stickers with appropriate responses on them. They could even be ordered pre-stamped with your name to save even more time and consternation when someone passes you a card, a pen, and an impatient look:

Your baby looks just like you (before the nose job)! Best of luck during flu season, love 1minion.

Congrats on your wedding, but just in case, keep the box for that blender. The receipt’s taped inside and you’ve got 11 more months to return it. Yours..

Hope you enjoy your new home. I’m sure that dead raccoon smell will fade eventually…

Sorry to hear of your break-up. You know what they say, there are always more fish in the sea. But next time, try not to land another shark. Your boat’s not big enough…

It’s turkey day up Canada way

But I think this bird’s American:

Hope yours didn’t put up too much of a fight! Happy Thanksgiving!

oxo
1minion

(picture originally found here)

Random Acts of Poetry is running all this week

Click the link for info if you want to have a peek.

But you don’t have to click it, just because it’s my suggestion
Poetry is optional
just like rhyme and rhythm and all the rest of it.

October 5th to October 11, 2009 is the time to act out.

Be the poet you’ve always dared embrace!

(Or just dare to embrace the poet! But maybe ask permission first…)

God says read this comic

Someone at the library had cut this out of a newspaper. How archaic.

It bodes ill for the purpose of a puzzle…

…when they can be bought pre-numbered for easy assembly.

This is the only reason for a camera phone, I swear. Blurred, sadly. I found it Liquidation World this morning. First I thought, Ooh, dinosaur puzzle! Then I saw it was licensed by…