I haven’t done one of these in a long time, but my spam net caught a link to more links about Billy Graham and I recalled earlier decisions to respond to his mail.
I grew up as a “P.K.” (a “Preacher’s Kid”), but when I reached my teens I went in a much different direction. That was more than 40 years ago, and now I wonder if I went too far. How can I find a faith that’s right for me and isn’t just my parents’ faith? — W.R.
W.R includes nothing in the way of examples so it’s hard to guess the severity of his/her rebellion. Are we talking life of crime, or lots of sex with random strangers, or rock and roll?
I think rebellion is a natural reaction to a strict upbringing, or anything that seems strict at the time. It’s natural to disagree with parents and it starts as soon as we realize what “No,” means. They’ll try to do what’s best, try and instill in us all the ethics and moralities they hope we’ll keep throughout our lives and a lot of it is probably worth keeping.
Only W.R can decide if s/he went “too far” away from whatever beliefs the parents hold. And that’s not included either, so we have no basis for comparison. This is a really poor way to write a letter when you want decent advice, by the way.
The best way to find a faith that fits is to try a bunch of different ones. I’m not saying be Hindu today and Muslim tomorrow. If W.R still wants to be a Christian, then randomly pick a church and sit in a pew on Sunday. Talk to parishioners before and after the service, get the feel of the location, whether people are distrustful of strangers, or welcoming, or apathetic. Talk to the priest or pastor after. Figure out a list of important questions you’d like answered and make an appointment to discuss those issues with him or her. Then next week, go to that church again or try another one and do the same routine. Try different flavours. Listen to a few sermons and see what fits. Maybe W.R. would find the parents’ church is still the one that best suits his/her ideals, but at least W.R. would return to it with a better idea of what else there is. And W.R. could change the mind at any time. Try somewhere else, try something else. When it comes to faith or personal growth if that’s your thing, only you know what you’re going to need. You can’t rely on anyone else to try and sort that out for you, no matter how much they might get paid to say they know. Which brings me to Billy Graham.
Have you ever asked yourself why you rebelled against being a “P.K.” as you grew older and decided you didn’t want anything more to do with Jesus?
Is that what he thinks W.R. said? I didn’t interpret the letter that way at all, as you can see. “Different direction” doesn’t automatically mean satanism or witchcraft or cannibalism or anything overly weird. W.R. may have just quit going to church and spent the last few decades being secular, but feeling like he/she was missing something. There’s nothing in the letter that states there was no longer a belief in God or Christ so I don’t think Billy should automatically assume that’s the case here.
Only you can answer this, but I suspect that most of your reasons didn’t really have much to do with Jesus Christ. For example, some people leave their faith behind as they grow older because they yearn to be independent — that is, they want to run their own lives. They don’t want their parents to tell them what to do any longer, nor do they want God telling them.
God doesn’t tell anyone anything. Preachers “interpret” the Word and pass it on. I’m confused here — does Billy mean a person can’t be independent and still believe in Jesus? If that’s the case, what a dichotomy to choose to live under. You can be independent, Christian, and still need advice once in a while. Nobody ever has all the answers. Billy would lose his column if that were the case.
Instead, they want to make their own decisions, and that often means going in the opposite direction from their parents. Was this true of you?
Is Billy saying the desire to be independent and capable of making one’s own decisions is something that must be curtailed in order to be a proper Christian? Assuming W.R.’s folks are “proper” and not the owners of some whackaloon snake handler barn or something.
I seriously doubt if you investigated the claims of Christ and decided they weren’t valid. Instead, you turned away from Christ for emotional reasons: You simply didn’t want anything further to do with your parents or their beliefs.
Again, how can you read that letter and assume W.R. completely turned away? Rebellion isn’t always a complete 180 degree switch. You can disagree on a lot of different levels, but still have a lot in common with the original belief system. Again, the letter isn’t detailed enough to gauge just how far away W.R. got from what Pastor Dad was preaching.
Besides, what if Pastor Dad turns out to a white supremacist and W.R. is starting to get tired of pretending to like black people? Billy’s advice will send W.R. back into the racist fold to raise more little racist children. We don’t know. We only have three sentences regarding W.R.’s history and can infer so little from them.
God has never stopped loving you, and he yearns for you to turn back to him and receive Christ into your life.
See what I mean about preachers telling you what god thinks and feels? How does Billy justify this answer to the question? He doesn’t. He’s taking it on faith, and expecting W.R. and his readers to do the same.
I found a parable on ADKOB about a city filled with blind people, and led by a blind man. The blind man tells them all sorts of things they’re supposed to believe (related to what colour togas they’re wearing) but those who aren’t blind can see how wrong they all are, but can’t convince any of them when the blind people start wars and cults and crap based on perceived (and incorrect) toga dyes. Moral of the story there can vary, depending on what you get out of it. Either ordinary people can be smarter than the so called “experts” or people really need to get out of the habit of trusting what a person says just because he’s got “Expert” sewn on his jacket. Which reminds me of the Milgram experiments which it turns out I’ve never mentioned before. I’m shocked, and no pun intended. I’d go into it now but it’s a topic deserving of its own piece, so that’s something I’ll post in the future.
Anyway, to finalize, no matter how much of an expert Billy Graham thinks he is here, he can’t really solve W.R’s problem. W.R. is going to have to do a bit of soul searching and decide what kind of faith will be most beneficial. Many people, after soul searching for a while, find the best kind of faith is in one’s self instead. In friends. In family. In humanity. And maybe W.R. will realize that the best ideology is the one that includes no god belief at all.
Stranger things have happened.
